712: The Like Switch: Dr. Jack Schafer

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2018

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime. CHEAT SHEET What is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you? What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability? What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established? What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests? If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that? How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation? Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself. This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives: “No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.” Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Resources The Like Switch by Dr. Jack Schafer Dr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today Keep up with The Art of Charm The Art of Charm Challenge The Art of Charm Insiders The Art of Charm Bootcamp Best of The Art of Charm Podcast The Art of Charm Toolbox On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience. We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey there, welcome to the Art of Charm podcast. I'm Johnny.
0:02.8	And I'm AJ. In each episode of the Art of Charm, we strive to inspire conversation that will make
0:08.4	you a more connected, more confident, and ultimately a more high value human. Today, we're joined by
0:13.6	author Jack Shaver, who's called in from Illinois. And this episode, you don't want to miss. Jack's
0:19.8	background is fascinating as a former special agent for the FBI's National Security Division's
0:25.2	Behavioral Analysis program. While that's a mouthful, he's learned some great tactics for profiling
0:30.8	terrorists and detecting deception. Now working as a psychology professor outside the battlefield,
0:37.0	he's got a lot to share with us when it comes to getting people to like you for a minute or a
0:42.2	lifetime. That's right. And Jack is driven to help people connect and build lasting relationships.
0:48.4	In fact, his breath and scope of experience made him a fascinating guest. Yes, it was really
0:53.6	cool to see his experience from battlefield, merged into his personal. A great place to experiment
1:01.6	with things we teach on the podcast, like overcoming your fears, talking to strangers, and making
1:06.8	those personal connections is in our free challenge group. You'll be guided to participate in quick
1:12.0	and effective challenges to help you break out of your comfort zone. The group is safe, supportive,
1:17.0	interactive, and facilitated by the AOC team. You can go to the artofcharm.com slash challenge to
1:23.1	learn more. And without further ado, let's roll. We've reached the middle of our month on gaining
1:40.0	interest where we've been examining how to break the ice and how to talk to strangers.
1:44.8	Creating that connection with strangers is definitely one of the most difficult skills for many
1:49.1	people. I know ourselves included when we got started, as well as our bootcamp participants.
1:54.2	And we know of no better guests to help us navigate around this topic than Dr. Jack Schaefer,
1:59.7	former FBI agent, psychologist, professor of behavioral analysis, and author of the like switch.
2:06.0	Thank you for coming on the show. Dr. Schaefer. Now you're welcome. I'm happy to be here.
	...

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