70: Two Firkin Bored (The Letter of Aristeas)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 9 August 2020

⏱️ 94 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Having trouble sleeping, Theophiloi? Well here's an evangelion for you: this episode covers a letter written by the most boring person to ever cover a miracle. Get ready for intense table measurements, detailed MapQuest directions to Judea circa 250 BCE, and some day one philosophy class nonsense. It's the thrilling story of the Septuagint and the curse upon those who would alter it, which is mentioned maybe once in a document that is roughly eight thousand pages long.

Topics of Discussion: the sexy and sad holidays in the month of Av, the Screechowlnado, the Screechnado, Aristeas: Boring Threat or Lying Menace?, the exact number of books that existed 2,200 years ago, sexy ducks, Δεεζ and βοφα, the Sep2agint, Jesi, some dubious information about how weasels get down, some more dubious information about dealing with night terrors.

Hymnal: "Brick By Boring Brick" by Paramore , "Sandstorm" by Jonny Music ( https://www.youtube.com/user/JonnyMusicChannel/featured )

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/user/apocrypals

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 1:17.

(Note: an earlier version of this episode had a Problematic Theme Song. Thanks for letting us know!)

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Apocopalus on the Greenlit Podcast Network.
0:03.5	Check out all of our shows at greenlitpodcasts.com.
0:07.6	I have given you this description of the presence because I thought it was necessary.
0:11.1	The next point in the narrative is an account of our journey to Eleazar.
0:14.1	But I will first of all give you a description of the whole country.
0:17.4	The letter of Aristéas, verse 83.
0:19.8	Music The letter of Aristéas, verse 83. Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocopalus.
0:42.8	It's the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible and we try not to be
0:45.5	jerks about it.
0:46.3	Happy episode 70, everyone.
0:49.0	It's nice plus one.
0:51.2	We invited nice, and nice brought a plus one, and now we're there we are your humble sons of thunder
0:59.2	my name is chris sends with me as always the other set of footprints benito serrano benito
1:03.3	how are you uh pretty i'm pretty good i'm nice plus one nice above nice above Above nice. Above nice. Nice plus.
1:11.6	Thunder perfect nice.
1:13.6	Thunder perfect nice.
1:14.6	Yeah.
1:15.6	Here we are episode 70.
1:16.6	Episode Septuadjacimum.
1:19.6	That means 70th.
1:21.6	Now if you are a dedicated fan of the show, of the two of us, then you know that this time
1:34.2	of year is usually marked for the eight holiest nights on the Apocopal's liturgical calendar,
	...

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