meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Apocrypals

69: Thirst Corinthians (The Lives of St. Mary of Egypt and St. Pelagia)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9650 Ratings

🗓️ 26 July 2020

⏱️ 105 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Under normal circumstances, Theophiloi, ladytype saints tend to become so by not having any adult fun at all and then calling Jesus lightning down on man-eating seals or exploding and teleporting their way out of a tower. For Episode Nice, however, we're covering two women who took things in the opposite direction by having all the adult fun they possibly could and then chilling out once they were finished. Believe it or not, they have way more agency in their stories than you might expect, even if the events are related by a couple of boring monks. No, not us, the weirdos who wrote this stuff down back in King Arthur times.

Topics of discussion: St. Swithin's Day and (sigh) the weather, VI/IX (iucundum), Mary Magadalene: 1st Century Space Kook, Marvin of Antioch, the All-Might of suffering in the desert, the mortification of the Desert Father Spike, a very judgy use of force field technology, a better show called Apocrypals, a not-so-clean joke that made Benito laugh so hard I had to cut out a coughing fit, some stuff about Doctor Who that I almost cut out because I just do not care.

Hymnal: "Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty, "Trap City Mass Choir Part II" by Kevin Johnson Jr. (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBjLwXQgI0O-3JqaRqn9ccQ)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/user/apocrypals

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Amos 5:24.

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to Apocrapalz on the Greenlit Podcast Network.

0:03.9

Check out all of our shows at greenlitpodcast.com.

0:07.9

There is no mentionable or unmentionedable depravity of which I was not their teacher.

0:12.5

I am amazed how the sea stood our licentiousness, how the earth did not open its jaws,

0:17.5

and how it was that hell did not swallow me alive.

0:20.9

The life of our holy mother, Mary of mavers, and welcome to a very, very special episode of Apocer Pals.

0:51.0

We are your hosts. Normally, we are your Sons of Thunder, but today we are your Thirst Corinthians.

0:58.6

My name is Chris Sims with me as always. Benito Serrano. Benito, how are you?

1:03.3

Feeling nice. Feeling nice on episode Nice.

1:07.4

It's a nice. It's a nice episode.

1:10.0

Yeah, it is. I'm also feeling good because I just ate a truly risable amount of chicken shworma. So is that an unmentionable depravity? I mean, maybe. Is it something that Mary of Egypt did? Was that part of Pelagia's stage show,

1:28.0

just like lolling around in a pile of shwarma?

1:31.5

As you might have already guessed,

1:33.3

dear listeners, today in honor of our nicest episode,

1:37.6

we are covering the lives of,

1:40.0

I would say, some sexy saints.

1:44.0

Yeah, for sure.

1:46.4

The sexiest saints?

1:48.4

So far.

1:49.2

Sebastian, number one, obviously.

1:52.0

Sure.

1:53.3

They're up there, though, because when we were prepping this episode

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Chris Sims, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Chris Sims and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.