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Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

7 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How To Stop with Dr Ramani Durvasula #332

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Alternative Health, Mental Health

4.8 • 10.9K Ratings

🗓️ 1 February 2023

⏱️ 120 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week’s episode is all about a subject familiar to many of us: self-sabotage. Whether it’s the inability to stick to our health goals, leave a toxic relationship, or get that promotion, we often seem to be our own worst enemies. Self-sabotage is a spectrum of feelings, beliefs, and behaviours, but they all set us up to fail.    Dr Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at California State University, and a world-renowned expert on narcissistic personality disorder. She’s written two books on the subject, Should I Stay or Should I Go and Don’t You Know Who I Am. She hosts the podcast Navigating Narcissism, and posts regularly on her YouTube channel, which has over 1 million subscribers.   In this conversation, we talk about relationships not with others, but with ourselves. Dr Ramani talks us through the common ways in which many of us self-sabotage, including procrastination, social comparison, taking on too much and not living in alignment with our values. She explains their links to anxiety and perfectionism and shares the practical solutions that she uses with clients to overcome them. If you’ve ever considered having therapy, Dr Ramani provides some useful insights about how it can work.   We discuss a wide range of topics, including why so many of us stick around in toxic, unsupportive relationships, the importance of cultivating friendships and communities outside the home and not expecting our romantic partner to be all things to us. And you’ll hear Dr Ramani explain a new way of thinking about our inner critic.   Dr Ramani has decades of real world experience helping her clients, she is a brilliant communicator and this is a conversation full of fresh insights and practical insights that you are going to be able to implement immediately. Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Thanks to our sponsors: https://www.athleticgreens.com/livemore https://www.vivobarefoot.com/livemore Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/332 DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Getting to the core of self-sabotage is so essential.

0:03.7

Procrastination is a big one, right?

0:04.9

Because it links very much to anxiety.

0:07.3

You're procrastinating.

0:09.0

What are you afraid of?

0:10.9

What is the pain that's being brought out by this task?

0:14.0

Because you're avoiding it.

0:15.4

You're avoiding this because it's uncomfortable.

0:17.8

Really you do a deep dive because in understanding that, the procrastination can lose some of

0:22.9

its power.

0:24.4

Hey guys, how you doing?

0:26.2

I hope you having a good week so far.

0:28.3

My name is Dr. Rongan Chatterjee, and this is my podcast.

0:32.8

Feel Better, Live More.

0:36.9

How many times have you told yourself that you are going to get up early to meditate?

0:42.5

Or find time to be more active or start writing that book you've always wanted to write. Yet despite

0:48.6

your best intentions, you don't manage to follow through. I think pretty much all of us have been there at some point in our

0:55.8

lives. So what's actually going on when we do this? Well, this week's episode is all about a topic

1:02.3

that I haven't really covered in detail before on my podcast, self-sabotage. Why do we so often end up being our own worst enemies? My guest is the

1:14.5

quite wonderful Dr. Romani, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at California

1:21.0

State University and a world-renowned expert on narcissistic personality disorder. She's written

1:27.3

two books on the subject.

...

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