7. FIGHTING WELL: Is your conflict style making or breaking your relationships?

We Can Do Hard Things

Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

Relationships, Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture

4.8 • 42.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 June 2021

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, in which Abby joins Glennon and Amanda, discover: 1. How Glennon and Abby realized that each of their recurring Five Fights (about money, food, etc.) are all actually about the exact same thing—and how it all goes back to their childhoods. 2. The guardrails Abby and Glennon built to protect each other when they fight. 3. How to handle a relationship in which one partner runs from conflict (Team Abby), and the other rushes toward conflict (Team Glennon). 4. The one red flag that Amanda insists is a relationship-ender. TW // eating disorders

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi everybody, Glennon here. Thank you so much for joining me again for We Can Do Hard
0:15.1	Things. I'm thrilled to tell you that today's episode is about fighting. What I mean by
0:24.2	that is this, I think that every lover is a fighter because when we're trying to love
0:33.7	each other well, what we're really trying to do is know each other deeply, right? What
0:40.0	we really want is to be known deeply and to deeply know the other and to know each other
0:47.6	deeply, there always has to be some stretching, some extra trying, some conflict, right? So
0:56.9	today we're talking about conflict with obviously sister and also with Abby. Abby is the
1:04.8	person I love the most. So also the person I fight with the most. And what we learned during
1:11.4	COVID was that really most of our conflicts are the same five fights over and over and over
1:18.9	and that they always have to do with once again love and control. So let's jump right in to five
1:29.0	fights. Well hello everybody. I am here with my two favorite people, my sister Amanda and my
1:43.5	wife Abby. Say hello. Thank you for being excited to be here. Hello. And the reason the
1:54.0	three of us are here today is because we wanted to speak about something hard, which is this?
2:01.1	This is a hard thing in the center of Abby and I's relationship, which let's just say that
2:08.4	babe, our relationship has been discussed in many beautiful ways and people rightly. Assume
2:16.7	and know that we have a beautiful love story, right? So gorgeous. Yes. Yes. And we are deeply
2:22.3	in love with each other. And we also drive each other but shit crazy sometimes. Would you agree with
2:28.8	that? That is also very true. Yes. For human beings. Yes. Yes. And one of the things right. And one
2:36.4	of the things that we noticed during COVID this time where we had oh so much togetherness. Oh so
2:47.2	much family time. Which taught us that an interesting thing was that it felt a little bit like our
2:58.0	days and our arguments were like groundhog day. Like we were having the same freaking fights over
3:06.6	and over and over again. Did you feel that that was true? Yes. And you know you just never kept
	...

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