69 Encore: Lying, Sneaking, Cheating. What Keeps Kids from Being Honest?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting, Mental Health

4.7 • 822 Ratings

🗓️ 22 February 2022

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Nobody likes being lied to, especially by our own children. Why do kids lie? Dr. Lisa looks at lying from a developmental standpoint and points out that when a child asks for more privacy, it doesn't necessarily mean they’re doing something sneaky. But when a child does lie, how should a parent respond? Dr. Lisa explains the difference between a child feeling appropriately guilty, and a child being made to feel shame. The bottom line? How you respond to dishonesty can make an important difference in how kids behave. Dr. Lisa’s Resources: Lisa’s NYT’s column: How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting, now in the midst of a pandemic.
0:12.9	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times bestselling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:19.6	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:23.7	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves. Most of the time, I'll be getting
0:28.5	answers to your parenting questions. So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.
0:36.0	We all hate being lied to, especially when it comes from our kids.
0:39.8	So how do we open up a conversation about lying and cheating?
0:43.3	This week we present an encore episode.
0:45.9	Episode 69, Lying, Sneaking, Cheating.
0:49.1	What keeps kids from being honest?
0:51.3	And be sure to check out our show notes for a New York Times article
0:53.8	written by Dr. Lisa
0:54.9	DeMore that might be helpful.
1:09.3	It's official. I went and got a checkup. I am 10 pounds heavier than I was a year ago.
1:11.4	Congratulations, Rina.
1:12.3	Well done.
1:13.7	Okay, I'm not stressing over it because apparently I'm in the healthy BMI, but I'm telling everyone who's listening, don't worry about it.
1:21.5	It's going to get better.
1:22.8	Exactly.
1:23.5	It'll sort itself out.
1:24.6	I do wish the scale lied sometimes, but you know who lies sometimes more often than the scale are children. How do you get that under wraps? I love this letter that we got in her inbox, Lisa, it says, hello, I'm a licensed clinical social worker in New York. I work with children, adolescents, and families. and I have two teens of my own. Your podcast
1:44.9	helps me both professionally and personally. I look forward to my Tuesday morning walks so I can listen
	...

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