You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, I'm joined by Vanessa and Zander Marin, and we are here to talk all about

sex. So Vanessa and Zander, welcome. It is great to

have you. Thanks for having us. Yeah, we're excited to be here. So you guys have just recently

released a book, Sex Talks, which is an instant New York Times bestseller. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Super exciting. And I think today we can go into a lot of that, what you guys cover in the book and,

you know, more broadly conversations around sex and where we can get stuck sexually, why we can

get stuck sexually and, you know, what we can do to sort of take matters back into our

own hands and not feel like sex is this big scary

thing that sits outside of our control and that, you know, then feeds all of this shame and

stigma and aloneness because I think it can feel pretty lonely when we're in that place.

Absolutely.

I'd love to hear from you just to start off.

Why do you think it is that we can struggle so much to talk about sex?

And I think sometimes it feels like it's harder to talk about our partner, the person that

we love and care about and know most deeply, it's actually harder to talk to them about

sex than maybe someone that you just met.

I think it's hard for us to talk about sex because we really don't have any examples.

I mean, if you think about every sex scene that you see in the movies, on TV, you never see

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