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Regular Features

605 - Money, Speed And Scandal

Regular Features

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9546 Ratings

🗓️ 30 September 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When she saw me running backwards and forwards and getting confused, shouting "oh no I can't organise my thoughts because I'm running backwards and forwards and getting confused", my grandmother used to put a hand on my shoulder and say "more haste, less speed". I looked her square in the eye and said "oh my god you mad hag everyone knows time = distance / speed, that is the most stupid thing I've ever heard". Then I would fall asleep from not being able to find my keys. It is THAT spirit of GET IT DONE that Gav brings to the world when he drives a car: up to - and exceeding! - the speed limit. This time, however, he has been caught, and now the only Zooming he's doing is in a meeting with a speed awareness instructor! (That's a real joke: there are nearly FOUR in this episode.) Meanwhile, Joe brings an angry father into the show. A man who wants to know why his debutante offspring has been scandalised to death by our vulgar utterances. And Log has joined a gym that is expensive beyond reason and reckons he can put it against his tax bill if he says it was research for the podcast. "Western Streets" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Transcript

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0:00.0

Regular, regular, regular, regular features.

0:01.9

A regular, regular, regular features.

0:04.0

A regular regular features.

0:05.8

A regular features, a regular features, a show.

0:08.1

Hello and welcome to regular features.

0:09.8

The podcast that is exactly the same.

0:11.5

Every single week.

0:13.5

Like every single week, I am joined by Joe Scrabbles and John Blog Bligh.

0:17.8

Oh, fuck yeah.

0:19.6

Let's get this going.

0:20.8

So excited. Hi. Who, fuck yeah. Let's get this going. So excited.

0:21.6

Hi.

0:22.1

Who's got the best feature out of the two of you?

0:26.6

Joe.

0:27.0

Incorrect.

0:27.9

It's me.

0:29.0

I am a speed demon.

0:31.5

Oh.

0:32.5

That's why I've got a feature about it.

0:33.9

Joe, what about you?

0:34.6

I am afraid that we've been visited by someone looking for revenge.

0:41.9

Oh, not again.

...

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