604 How to Communicate With a Defensive or Conflict-Avoidant Partner
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 23 April 2024
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Does it ever feel challenging to get through to your partner when you're in conflict?
Do they become endlessly defensive when you raise an issue?
Or do they bring up unrelated problems they have with you or the relationship?
Are you the defensive one?
Many of you have written in to ask about navigating issues with defensive or conflict-avoidant partners. This episode is my answer.
We'll cover why clean conflict and fair fighting are critical to successful relationships, what this looks like in practice, and tips for having healthier, more constructive conflict.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/604
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole show. I want to start with the question, does it feel like no matter what you try, you can't get through to your partner when it comes to conflict. |
| 0:13.0 | Are they always defensive? |
| 0:14.8 | Are they always defending why they did what they did? |
| 0:17.0 | No matter how gently you approach them, |
| 0:19.2 | do you feel like they always explode in anger? |
| 0:21.2 | Are they unwilling to have constructive disagreements? |
| 0:25.0 | Because this can be really difficult if you are in a relationship with someone who can't. |
| 0:30.0 | It's almost like them being more interested in talking about every little way, right, that you've ever wronged them, no matter what you say, they're like, yeah, but what about you last Wednesday? Again, that tip for tatting. What I'm describing, none of this is clean conflict. |
| 0:46.0 | And in two days episode, that's exactly what I'm going to be talking about. |
| 0:50.0 | Is how do we have clean conflict? |
| 0:52.0 | How do we fight fair? What are the rules to |
| 0:55.6 | fighting fair? What are the things that you should avoid? How do you communicate with |
| 1:00.1 | a defensive partner or someone who's afraid, |
| 1:02.8 | someone whose conflict avoidant. |
| 1:05.1 | And why learning how to create clean conflict in your life |
| 1:09.9 | is super, duper important. |
| 1:11.1 | That is what we are covering today in this episode. |
| 1:14.6 | So before we get into it, I want to take a moment to just say, |
| 1:16.8 | oh my gosh, thank you so much for being here. |
| 1:19.6 | I know you could be doing lots of other things |
| 1:21.3 | and the fact that you are here hanging out with me |
| 1:23.6 | really does warm my heart and I love the topic that we're talking about today because |
... |
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