#60: 5 Reasons You're Not Getting Your Needs Met (& What to Do About It)

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2023

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, we're talking all about needs - specifically, looking at some common reasons why you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. It's easy to feel defeated and hurt when our needs are going unmet, but oftentimes there's far more that's within our control than we might think. We'll cover: the importance of identifying your needshow to communicate your needs to your partner mindset blocks around receiving and how these stops you from getting what you needwhat to do if...

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships
0:10.5	and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.
0:19.7	I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,
0:22.8	and I'm really glad you're here. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.
0:31.4	Today's episode is all about needs, specifically five reasons that you're not getting your
0:37.1	needs met and what to do about it
0:39.5	or how to fix it. So we're going to be talking about some of the common blocks to getting our
0:44.3	needs met, particularly in the context where we might be telling ourselves a story that our partner
0:49.7	just doesn't care about us, they're not meeting our needs, maybe we're incompatible,
0:53.6	you know, maybe they're not interested in meeting our needs. Maybe we're incompatible. Maybe they're
0:54.4	not interested in meeting our needs. We can't ask them or there's no point. All of these
0:59.5	stories that we can get really stuck in. And a lot of the time, I find that those stories are
1:04.2	happening behind the scenes. And maybe we're not taking the steps we need to in our relationships in terms of putting ourselves out there,
1:13.1	asking in a way that is supportive of us actually getting our needs met and conducive
1:18.2	to us getting our needs met. So getting clear around what some of the blocks and the impediments
1:23.3	to that might be. And I'm going to sort of step through them almost in like a ladder. So,
1:28.9	you know, entry level, identifying your needs and then we'll kind of go from there. And it almost
1:35.0	becomes like a five-step plan for getting those needs met as you go along in your relationship.
1:41.5	So we'll be starting at the first and perhaps most obvious reason
1:45.1	that you might not be getting your needs met, which is that you don't know what they are.
1:48.3	And then we'll be going a little bit deeper and more nuanced from there. So I do want to say at the
1:53.6	outset that for the people who are going to say, oh, you're blaming me that my needs aren't getting
	...

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