meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Church of Lazlo Podcasts

6.2.26, Lazlo vs Serena Williams

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2026

⏱️ 117 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo went to marriage counseling, and fantasizes about watching Rob Stewart with SlimFasts’ mom. Sabrina Carpenter is getting stalked. SlimFast has a LOT riding on these sports bets. If it's bright red you’re good; But if it’s dark red, eat beets. Trump apparently cussed out Netanyahu. Lazlos is trying to get a dog that doesn't piss itself whenever it thunders, and SlimFast is worried that he’ll come across as a pedophile. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:30.6

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:42.0

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.3

Yo!

0:47.8

How are you?

0:49.3

Never better.

0:50.3

How about yourself?

0:51.2

Oh, man, I'm doing good.

0:52.3

Yeah?

0:52.8

Right.

0:53.1

Everything's good?

0:54.0

It seems to me. The kids are good? Yeah, as far as I know. Yeah. It's a beautiful day. Driving to work thinking, man, how lucky are we? That's what you're thinking? Yeah. I'm thinking, boy. Been doing this for... If I had any guts, I'd eat the end of a shotgun is what I thought. You can't joke. You can't joke about that or something. Who's joking, man. I mean, it's a cry for help. And you're just a fup, it's a joke. Well, that's the same. I'm letting you know, I have to assume it is a cry for help at this point. It is. It is. Okay. Well, that's, you know, I know. I know you. And I want to make sure that you know that this means now we have to do the required evaluation. Someone's going to have to sit down to you? No, I don't do. It's a professional. I think it's summer.

1:45.1

And she has to go through the whole question. I can't imagine. Nothing's going to make me want to eat it more than a hour with you. Hey. Hey. Talking about my life. Hey. Maybe you could just be a whimsical pixie fairy. I'm like, maybe I could just. Maybe that's a good thing. How does that make you feel last?

2:00.5

It makes me feel like I want to.

2:03.5

That makes me feel like I want to...

2:02.6

That makes me feel like it's 5.35 a.m.

2:07.3

Look, my point is, you can't joke around about stuff like that.

2:11.9

So, now we'll have to evaluate you, make sure that, you know, you're feeling okay,

...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 26 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Audacy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Audacy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.