59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 8 March 2020

⏱️ 93 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Time to eat the vegetables, Theophiloi. After nearly two years of putting it off, we finally lay down the law with Leviticus, and scramble desperately to make a few jokes before we wind up thoroughly exhausted. It's not even the parts you know about that do it! It's the four chapters about skin care! Just go to Lush! Plus, a bitter argument about the weather that will ultimately destroy the show. Is this the end of the Apocrypals?

Topics of discussion: Entrails & Shanks, an unsolicited endorsement for Arby's, the testament of Jarvis Cocker, Moses and his pristine mind palace, why Aaron's sons took the jobs as priests, the ticking salsa clock, multiple lists of birds, the controversy of the Muscovy duck, Normal Bible Stuff, Nightcrawler's dad's goat, the CASB, the satyr seder, a reminder to not sacrifice your kids to Molech, a long-awaited return to the bar, ligers, Sailor Moon vs. Molech, The Lord's opinion of Tully Blanchard and Magnum TA, Jubilee years.

Hymnal: "Breaking the Law" by Judas Priest, "The Winner Takes It All" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45).

Offertory: The Lord loves a cheerful giver, so please help support the show via ko-fi.com/apocrypals

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are to detest these birds.
0:01.9	They must not be eaten because they are detestable.
0:04.9	The eagle, the bearded vulture, the black vulture, any kind of falcon, every kind of raven,
0:10.5	the ostrich, the short-eared owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant,
0:15.2	the long-eared owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron,
0:19.6	the hoopoe, and the bat.
0:22.7	The Book of Leviticus, chapter 11, verses 13 through 18. Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocer Pals.
0:48.3	It's the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but we try not to be
0:52.3	jerks about it.
0:53.5	Gonna be tough this time.
0:55.6	We're going to do our best.
0:56.9	Yeah.
0:57.7	We are your host, The Humble Sons of Thunder.
0:59.7	My name is Chris Sims.
1:00.8	With me as always, the other set of footprints, Benito Sereno.
1:04.2	Benito, how are you right now?
1:08.2	I feel unclean, if I'm honest, all sorts of things, it turns out, make you richfully impure. It could be anything. It's a lot of its birds. Yeah, don't touch a bird, it turns out. Don't touch a bird, except when you do touch a bird and, and you're very mean to the bird. Yeah. Don't touch a bird. Do touch a bird and you're very mean to the bird.
1:29.1	Yeah.
1:29.8	Don't touch a bird.
1:31.1	Do touch a lot of bird blood.
1:33.1	Definitely don't touch blood.
1:34.5	Don't touch blood.
	...

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