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Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

534 - When We're Asked to Change (and When It's Okay to Refuse)

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Multiamory, LLC

Sexuality, Self-improvement, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education

4.9935 Ratings

🗓️ 17 June 2025

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, we're diving into what happens when a partner asks you to change, whether it's a small behavioral change or a big fundamental or values change. Regardless of what kind, change can be difficult, for both the one asking for change and the one being asked to change. We're going to discuss the feelings that arise when being asked to change as well as evaluating what is and isn't acceptable to ask of someone. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, multiamery folks and friends. Let's go to Spain together. That's right, Orit Krug and I are hosting a

0:07.2

somatic retreat, especially for polyamorous folks that's going to be in beautiful northern Spain

0:13.2

from September 22nd to the 25th, 2025. We're going to be spending four days together in a beautiful

0:20.6

natural setting, and Orit and I are going to guide you through somatic practices that can help shift long-held patterns and help you develop some powerful tools for navigating non-monogamy with more ease and confidence.

0:34.0

We handle all the details so that you can be fully present. Your accommodations are taken care of. You don't have to clean or cook. All your meals are taken care of. We really want people to feel as cared for as possible. You're welcome to come solo or to bring a partner or to bring all of your partners. Everybody is welcome. We also offer sliding scale pricing, and if

0:55.9

cost is a concern for you, please don't let that stop you from applying. We're happy to explore

1:00.3

options that work for you and for your financial situation. So we already have people signing up

1:06.7

for this one, which is nuts. We do have limited spots. So if you're interested, go to

1:11.9

multi-amory.com slash retreat. To apply today, mention the Multiamary podcast when you apply. Again,

1:18.4

that's multi-amry.com slash retreat. And I hope that I can see you in Spain.

1:32.1

That's the thing. It's like, is it a value system? Is it a way in which you live your life? Is it a way that you just have acted for so long that it is a part of you? And you can't expect

1:40.9

that person to change who they are at this very fundamental core level, even if it is doing

1:48.2

something to harm you or the relationship.

1:50.8

I think that that's the question, and that's what I've run into in the past, in both being

1:56.5

somebody who's requesting change and somebody who has requested change of me, that it's like

2:01.8

when those two things are at odds with one another, I think that's kind of when you really are

2:07.1

at an impasse in a relationship.

2:10.3

Welcome to the Multi-Amory podcast. I'm Jace. I'm Emily. And I'm Dedeker.

2:16.6

We believe in looking to the future of relationships,

2:19.7

not maintaining the status quo of the past.

2:22.4

Whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating,

2:27.4

or if you just do relationships differently, we see you, and we're here for you.

...

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