511. Coaching Hotline: When DEI Feels Like a Threat

UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Kara Loewentheil

Health & Fitness, Philosophy, Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6 • 5.6K Ratings

🗓️ 21 July 2026

⏱️ 4 minutes

🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS

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Summary

Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibility for your own success lets you see opportunity and achievement as something you generate, not something handed out.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/511

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Un-Fuck Your Brain. I'm your host, Kara Lowenthal, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go.
0:24.3	Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real
0:30.4	listeners and coach you from afar. If you want to submit your question for consideration,
0:35.1	go to unfuckyour your brain.com forward slash
0:39.0	coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347, 997-1784. And when you get
0:48.2	prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word. Let's get into this week's questions.
0:55.8	Here's our listener question. I have a scarcity mindset specifically around my job. Opportunities are coming up,
1:01.2	but my company has a strategy to hire for diversity. And while I think that's a great
1:05.2	thing, my brain keeps telling me there's less for me. And I can't stop resenting the people
1:09.2	who get the jobs I want. I want an abundant mindset, but I don't stop resenting the people who get the jobs I want.
1:13.8	I want an abundant mindset, but I don't know how to get there.
1:20.0	This is a great question, and although I know the question asker thinks that the reason they're having these thoughts is because their company wants to hire for diversity,
1:23.9	the truth is when you have a scarcity mindset, you will always find a reason to think there's not enough.
1:29.2	So it's really not about that specific circumstance.
1:32.1	It could be something else.
1:33.6	Her brain would come up with some other reason if it wasn't that.
1:36.2	The key thing is the belief that there's only so much opportunity to go around.
1:40.9	There's only so much success to go around.
1:43.5	And that is the belief that we have to change. It may be true that there's only so much success to go around. And that is the belief that we have to change.
1:45.9	It may be true that there's only so many of this exact job with this exact title in your current
1:51.3	company. That's totally could be a circumstance, right? But that doesn't mean you can't be
1:56.5	successful. That doesn't mean you can't have a similar role somewhere else if you don't get it at that company.
	...

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