Alright ladies welcome back to part 2 with Mark Manson. Yesterday we pulled the curtain bag on the tactics and menus like begging fake disinterest jealousy pokes and why they actually work on women who are already doubting themselves and what we can do about it. And today we're taking it even further. Of course we are. Because once you spot the behaviour the real power move is knowing how to actually respond without getting sucked into the game.

And that's exactly where we're going next.

In this part, we're about to dive into how to break out of the prove yourself to him

loop, so you can stop chasing men who only want to control you.

We talk about the mindset that helps you avoid getting pulled into narcissists, so you

finally attract relationships with actual emotional safety.

We talk about the signs that tell you that it's manipulation, not your own insecurity, so you can actually start to trust your gut without overcorrecting it. Now ladies, if you've ever had that moment where something just fills off, but you don't know what to do next, this is the episode. This is the clarify that you've actually been waiting for. So let's dive in right now with Mark Manson right here on Women of Impact.

Okay so now let's talk about the difference between men and women in neediness. Because I've got another question for you. Okay. Although neediness is a turn off for most men, it's not the complete deal breaker that it is for women. To most women, a man with no neediness is like a woman with perfect tits and gorgeous sculpted ass to a woman, a man with a lot of need in his is like having the worst

quest and missing teeth. I loved it! I'm so good! So, tell me the difference then, why isn't it not a turn-off totally for men, but you think it is for women? So, this gets back into the research on what men and women are attracted to. And I would say most areas of psychology, there's a lot of debate around if there's gender differences or how big those gender differences are. The one area of psychology where it's, there's just very stark differences and it makes sense why is around attraction and sexuality. So obviously the biggest difference between men and women, women have babies, men don't. That's not simple. So the way humans evolved over hundreds of thousands of years is that generally speaking in hunter-gatherer societies or tribes, the men would go out and risk themselves to go hunt large animals or go find food and then the women would stay home and take care of the young and manage the community. And this went on for probably 98 percent of human history. So it makes sense that women are going to be sexually attracted to a man who is confident, independent, is pretty self-assured, believes he can accomplish something, and is resourceful. Man, on the other hand, it makes sense that their attraction is going to be driven a little bit more by caretaking. Do I feel good around her? Do I feel supported? Do I feel nurtured? Is she nice? Is she sweet? So on the neediness front, what you see sometimes is like, men will end up with a very needy woman and they'll be like, yeah, it drives me crazy. I wish she didn't text me six times a night, but she treats me well and she's really sweet and I have a really good time with her. So I'll handle it. Whereas if you're the type of guy who is driving over to a woman's house and banging on on her door in the middle of the night, like crying, asking like why she doesn't love him, there's probably nothing more repellent to the female psychology than that. Kinda convinced me that. Yeah, it's just like grow some stones, man. Like, I hate to be that like old-fashioned about it, but it is, you do see it born out in the research. And this is why it's ultimately, as a man, you can get away with a lot of stuff. You can be kind of rough around the edges. You can have maybe you're not the most sociable guy in the world, maybe you're a little awkward. But if you seem resourceful and you seem self-assured and you seem to be able to handle yourself, like that's gonna take you a long way. I've got to follow up question though. Where is that difference then between them being needy and then needing you? Because you wanna break my heart, just tell me that my husband doesn't need me. Yeah. So where's that, like, almost fine line for a woman? Because a woman does want to feel needed. Of course. I would clarify it because they sound similar, but I think they're actually very different things. So the neediness is really about, it's about attention and validation. I would say the needing somebody, like when I think about what I need my wife for, I would say it's emotional support and companionship and a life that we're building together, right? And those may sound like similar things but they're actually completely different. The validation piece is very much like, I feel insecure and insignificant unless she smiles at me or she wants to hang out with me or she kisses me. And that's just a very like, ik, place to be. Whereas needing your partner on an emotional level is really like, hey, I've invested, I mean, with my wife at this point, it's I've invested 14 years of my life with her, right? We've built a beautiful life together. She's my best friend, she's my companion, she's my partner, she's my confidant, right? And you earn that too, right? Like I think part of the needing this piece is like, people show up on day one expecting that. And it's like, no, no, no, you earn, like,

my wife and I, we put in the years together to get to this place. Yeah, I think you really hit the nail on the head there. That's exactly it. Oh, I love it. Okay. And now talking about a lot of like negative things about men, I'd love to actually move to the positive. So because it's very important for me to also to work green flags and one, you know,

a really good man looks like.

And you actually say that the three fundamentals that a man needs. And so I'd love to go through those. So he's say number one is honest living. For women, let's say I'm looking for a guy that has these three things. How do I identify the guys doing the honest living? Yeah. So what you see with a lot of insecure people and women do this as well is that they worry about their hobbies. They're like, well, I'm really into this, but you know, women aren't into that. You know, like you see this especially with kind of nerdy guys, they're like, well, I love comic books, but like such a turn, you know, girls say comics are Ick or whatever. And so, A, you're already undermining yourself there to begin with because you are now prioritizing somebody else's perception of you over your own. And then two, if you don't allow yourself to pursue the things that you care about in your life, by pursuing those things, that's where you're going to meet the people most compatible for you. That's actually great advice also for women,

because I think also we do the same things

that we can't eat, to hide this part of you,

to hide this part of you.

And then you do start to like,

ape on a facade of who you are.

And then just diminish your own loves and hobbies.

And I actually remember one of the things

that was so attractive, actually, it's all coming together now. One of the things that was so attractive to me about my husband, he just, I was like, he loves toys.

Like, he just, I was like, he loves comic books.

Yeah.

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