5 Levels of Listening [Social Intelligence Brief]

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 14 August 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ever leave a meeting thinking it went fine… but something didn’t land? In this concise training, AJ and Johnny unpack the five levels of listening and the “conversation radar” that lets you hear what others don’t say. You’ll learn how to move beyond facts and small talk into context, what’s left unsaid, and meaning—so people feel seen, trust you faster, and want to keep the conversation going. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why “it went fine” isn’t enough—introducing conversation radar [00:00:40] High-quality listening lowers defensiveness; oxytocin & trust [00:02:27] What years of video breakdowns revealed about real listening [00:04:21] Five levels overview and the Oscar Trimboli inspiration [00:05:14] Level 1: Self-focused—seeking to be understood vs. to understand [00:06:55] Level 2: Content—facts only = forgettable, low impact [00:08:32] Level 3: Context—tone, timing, rhythm; role-play on ambivalence [00:10:50] Level 4: What’s unsaid—notice omissions; kids vs. work example [00:13:17] Level 5: Meaning—identity, values; reflective listening > shared experience [00:14:37] The 4-step practice drill to use all five levels today [00:15:35] How to train conversation radar (program mention & link) A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode Resources Oscar Trimboli | The Art of better Listening - Art of Charm Ep.#726 Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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1:15.6	If you bet a minimum of £10, they'll give you £30 in three bets. Four, that's a steel of a deal. It's a good darn deal that'll make you squirrel for real. Neil? My name's not Neil. I know, but it rhymed. Listen to Harry and make your best bet on the football at Betvictor. 18 plus opt in and bet on any football marketing at odds of evens or greater no, cash out seven-day expiry terms and conditions apply at gamblerware.org. Ever leave a meeting thinking, that went fine, but deep down, you know, something just didn't land. You got the facts right, but missed the feeling. You didn't read the silence. You didn't sense the subtext. Well, today, we're going to break down the five levels of listening and show you how to use your conversation radar to hear what others don't say and build trust faster than anyone else in the room.
1:25.6	When researchers study, what makes people open up, they found that high quality listening
1:34.8	reduces defensiveness and boosts insights, even when the listener says very little.
1:40.5	It's such an important point, and I think so many of us try to fill those silences with
1:44.5	our own words to the detriment of the conversation. In fact, would people feel truly heard,
1:50.0	their brain actually releases more oxytocin? That's the trust hormone. Listening isn't
1:56.1	passive. It's persuasive. It's presence. And there are five levels.
2:01.1	And this brings up an interesting point.
2:03.6	I mean, AJ, we've been talking about the power of listening for close to two decades now.
2:10.9	And because we discuss it so much, we know the insides and out of it.
2:21.2	It's difficult for me when I'm talking with regular people because I'm of course judging, judging their listening skills. I want to be
2:29.1	listened to, but it's it's so pronounced to me that I can tell immediately when people are filling in spaces.
2:40.0	I have family members who like to finish my sentences. So if you're trying to finish my sentences,
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