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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

5.27.26, Snooze Button Bandit

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2026

⏱️ 119 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dorm life sucks, and Lazlo basically lives with two roommates. Lazlo thinks Will Levis should just own it. Lazlos is going to choose to NOT get into the kindergarten brawl. Would you pay a million to go see Trumps’ UFC fight? Lazlo and SlimFast debate becoming celebrity assistants. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.6

to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the lord when i lay my vengeance upon me ladies and

0:43.3

gentlemen the church of laslow has begun yo how are you never better how about yourself i am fantastic my man

0:53.4

good yeah glad to hear it how's family? Everybody seems to be good. You?

0:58.1

Uh, yeah. Yeah. It's weird now. You know, they're home. It's summer vacation.

1:02.5

I noticed the kids are not going to school in my neighborhood. And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess it's summer.

1:09.5

And your kids are home, but your oldest is going to be off to college. I don't know. When does he leave? September, I think. Okay. So this is the last summer with everyone, right? I mean, I interrupt. I'm coming back. Is he going to? Is that the plan? Coming back in the summers? Yeah. I mean, you left and didn't come back. I didn that the plan coming back in the summer yeah i mean you

1:27.6

left it didn't come back i didn't know i was in the navy i wouldn't right i know i know college i think

1:33.1

college kids come back in the summer i would i would imagine yeah i think most of them do something

1:36.8

i didn't go to college so i don't know but i don't know but then some don't come back my brother just

1:41.0

i don't know what he was doing but during the summer he never came back yeah i don't come back. My brother just said, I don't know what he was doing. During the summer, he never came back? Yeah, I don't know. He acted like he had stuff to do.

1:46.1

Maybe he was on a track to graduate early? I really don't know, but I got the feeling later that he just was trying to have a little bit of distance. I don't know where mine would go. Right, right, because... Look, I don't know where you would go.

1:57.2

I don't know where your brother.

1:57.8

I'd be like, well, all right.

1:58.8

If it feels like I'm not coming back,

1:59.8

I'd be like, that's weird.

2:00.8

Yeah, it's probably a little easier for my brother

2:03.1

when he was trying to, you know, rent a room in Kirksville or whatever, as opposed to having a place in Chicago, you know, when you're going to school full time and then not, but still, there is something sentimental about the last summer before he goes up to college. Do you guys have plans? Like a summer vacation that you're all taking together? I don't know yet. Sometime in July. Yeah. But what that looks like, I don't know. Yeah. I think there's still college stuff to do. I think we might have to go do that. Like, you know, I'm glad he's going to a city we like, but maybe it'll be like another Chicago trip because he's going to have to do an orientation and stuff, you know, that, you know. Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of, uh, stuff we can do there. Last minute, getting ready, right, and all the, the shopping for the, you know, I mean, I guess it's, is it a dorm? You said it's like an apartment.

2:52.5

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's the nicest dorm you ever been in.

...

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