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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

5.20.26, Gag Jobs and Blow Balls Incorporated

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2026

⏱️ 117 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo was kicked out of radio class, and the biggest road block to success is debt. Jim Teriyaki, the guy who paid kids to beat him up, was actually a predator. Summer' s a furry, and you don't ACTUALLY know a hitman. Clint Eastwood is NOT dead. Manhole is a GREAT gay-bar name. Lazlo has a Pickle Rick throw pillow, and Rashee Rice shouldn’t have pushed the limits. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:12.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.7

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I

0:39.2

lay my vengeance upon me.

0:42.6

Ladies and

0:43.4

gentlemen, the

0:45.2

Church of Laslow has begun.

0:48.2

Yo!

0:48.7

How are you, my man? Never better. How are you?

0:51.3

Great. Good. No problems.

0:53.0

I had to hear it. Or if it's good. Yeah? Yeah, it seems to be. All are you? Great. Good. No problems. I did hear it. Life is good.

0:54.5

Yeah? Yeah, it seems to be. All is well? Yep. Well, it's official official? My oldest graduated, done with school. I mean, I know sometimes there's things in life where we have ceremonies before things are official, but they don't do that with school. It's official official with school. you're done.

1:10.4

Once you get the diploma, it's over.

1:13.2

Right?

1:13.8

I mean...

1:13.9

Yeah, I don't do it with school. It's official, official with school. You're done. Once you get the diploma, it's over.

1:46.5

Right? I mean... Yeah, I don't even know. It's not. I think once I think it was done like a couple weeks, maybe... Maybe a couple weeks ago when you send those transcripts to your university, right? I think, Lynn, it's done. The transcript is the proof because Because don't the college things say, like, you know, you've been accepted pending transcripts or whatever, pending your... I think you've been accepted anyway. They're just like, we need to see them. Okay. Just to make sure, like, I don't know, that you have all your credits. The final transcripts, right? And that's it. But as long as you finish everything, you're good. But the transcripts are the proof that I finished. It's like getting off probation. It's saying, I'm done. Here's my papers.

1:44.1

Yeah, but I think even if you've failed it. But as long as you finished everything, you're good. But the transcripts are the proof that I finished. It's like getting off probation at saying, I'm done.

1:46.0

Here's my papers.

1:47.0

Yeah, but I think even if you failed something that you didn't, say, failed an elective or whatever, it wouldn't change anything. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, what if you had to take a summer school class? Right, then I think like if you failed an English class that you're counting on, then I think you'd have to take it again.

...

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