491. Coaching Hotline: Thought Work, Moral Objectivism & The Motivation to Set Goals
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 12 May 2026
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What’s the point of setting goals if you already feel how you want to feel? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about thought work and goals, and why it can feel like your whole motivational system breaks when you stop chasing goals just to feel differently about yourself.
I also answer a question about the philosophical underpinnings of thought work, moral objectivism, and whether thought work requires you to believe there is no objective good or bad. You'll hear why thought work is not a purity exercise, why it can still be useful even if you do not take it to the same radical place I do philosophically, and why working against patriarchy can come from preference, values, and desire rather than objective proof.
Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/491
Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Mentioned in this episode:
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Un-Fuck Your Brain. I'm your host, Kara Lowenthal, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go. |
| 0:24.3 | Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real |
| 0:30.4 | listeners and coach you from afar. If you want to submit your question for consideration, |
| 0:35.1 | go to unfuckyour your brain.com forward slash |
| 0:39.0 | coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347-997-1784. And when you get |
| 0:48.2 | prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word. Let's get into this week's questions. |
| 0:57.8 | Our first question is one that I do get asked a lot and I've answered before in other formats, but I'm not sure I've answered it in one of |
| 1:01.7 | these. And I think it's such a good question and I think a lot of you are probably wondering. |
| 1:05.9 | So here's the question. Hi, Kara, I have a question about thought work and goals. Isn't it any goal you set because you want to feel a certain way? Thoughts create your feeling. So if you change your thoughts, you will feel differently. But if you already feel how you want to feel, what is motivating you to set any goals to further yourself? What creates the desire to do something if it's not for wanting to feel a certain way. It could apply to |
| 1:27.7 | career, fitness, love, or anything. I'm sure you get this question a lot. Sorry if you've already covered this. So nothing to be sorry for it. It's a good question. And I do answer it a lot because it comes up a lot because it's an obvious question for people to ask when they start engaging with the work. So that's why I wanted to answer it here. It's almost like you have to completely swap your paradigm. |
| 1:45.7 | So right now, the only reason you can imagine doing something is because you want to feel differently. |
| 1:51.8 | But what if it's possible to do something for another reason? Like let's imagine if you only ever have |
| 1:58.6 | gone to move your body because you don't want to feel guilty. |
| 2:03.4 | And then you decide you don't want to do it for that reason anymore, but your brain can't |
| 2:07.8 | comprehend. |
| 2:08.4 | There could be another reason. |
| 2:10.1 | Now, that one's probably easier for you to see like, oh, well, maybe you would want to do it |
| 2:13.7 | because it feels good or because like you want to get stronger or whatever it is, right? Because like just for the joy of it, you can see some other alternatives, right? Or like, let's say you've only ever kissed someone out of obligation and then you're like, I don't want to do that anymore. So how would I know when I want to kiss someone? Oh, like maybe I would want to do it just because it seems fun like I would like to. |
| 2:35.5 | I'm just trying to give you a few different examples, but it's like you have to completely |
| 2:39.0 | switch the paradigm from we only go do things to feel better about ourselves, usually, |
| 2:46.8 | to why might we do something otherwise? |
| 2:49.6 | So why would I want to have a business if I know I can |
... |
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