490. Ten questions to ask yourself if you are unsure about having kids
Do You F*cking Mind?
Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa - Neuroscientist and Mindset Coach
4.9 • 914 Ratings
🗓️ 6 April 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This is the episode you have been asking for and waiting for and we are finally here!
How do you really know if you want children? Can you ever truly be ready for it? And what kind of questions do you need to ask yourself AND your partner before embarking on starting a family, or choosing to not.
While I cannot give you black and white answers, I really hope this episode helps you get deeper into your own thoughts about the topic and lead you to having a bit more clarity around the subject!
I asked myself these questions before having my own children and I feel it did help prepare me for this new season in life quite a bit!
Enjoy!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, beautiful beans and welcome to the podcast episode of today. |
| 0:16.3 | So this episode is one that I've wanted to do for a very long time. |
| 0:20.5 | And I've had a few requests |
| 0:21.5 | about it. I've had a lot of questions come through via email. Also, every time I put up a question |
| 0:27.0 | box, I have at least, I don't know how many, but quite a few people asking, can you please |
| 0:30.7 | do an episode around how to know if you want to have children? So I have 10 questions |
| 0:36.8 | to ask yourself, if you are not sure, if you want to have children. So I have 10 questions to ask yourself if you are not sure |
| 0:41.0 | if you want to have children or not. Okay, this is specifically for people that are legitimately |
| 0:45.5 | on the fence. This is not for people that have decided they don't want children and want to have, |
| 0:49.9 | you know, some good thoughts to back it up or vice versa. This is if you're genuinely on the fence |
| 0:54.7 | and you just are not sure. Now, there is a few little disclaimer things. One of the things that |
| 1:01.6 | I'm not going to cover is, and the reason I'm specifically mentioning this, is people saying, |
| 1:08.3 | but how can you bring children into this world? How can you bring children into the |
| 1:12.4 | world if it's such a terrible place now? The world's gone to shit. The world's whatever. If you |
| 1:16.5 | genuinely believe that the world is a terrible place and your child will have a terrible life, |
| 1:22.5 | then I don't know why it's a question for you. If you think you can give your child a good life |
| 1:27.1 | and that the world as a whole is not a horrible place, then that's a different for you. If you think you can give your child a good life and that the world |
| 1:28.0 | as a whole is not a horrible place, then that's a different story. But I'm not here to tell you to have children. I'm also, this episode is not for me to tell you to not have children or for you to have children. It's got nothing to do with that. It's for you to ask yourself questions to give you a bit more clarity, okay? There will be no answer that I can give you or nothing that I can say that's going |
| 1:46.9 | to make the decision for you. They are... you a bit more clarity, okay? There will be no answer that I can give you or nothing that I can |
| 1:46.1 | say that's going to make the decision for you. They are questions where your answers will help |
| 1:51.1 | you get closer to a decision or just a bit more clarity around the subject, okay? But I'm not going |
| 1:56.7 | to talk around the state of the world. Firstly, because everyone is in a different life |
... |
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