#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First
Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex
Authentic Intimacy®
4.9 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 30 October 2023
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In marriages where one or both partners are unhappy, divorce is a very real consideration. But imagine that you sit down with a divorce attorney, tell her you and your spouse argue all the time and can’t see eye to eye, and after nodding quietly, she gives you the following advice: before you split, take inventory.
Sound unconventional? This is the advice from divorce attorney Toni Nieuwhof, who, along with her husband, pastor-turned-leader-coach Carey Nieuwhof, has seen many couples walk through marital trouble and divorce.
Whether you’re walking through a tough season in your marriage or are currently contemplating divorce, this is a podcast episode that can encourage you and create fresh motivation to nurture your relationship with your spouse.
Guests: Toni and Carey Nieuwhof
Book: Before You Split by Toni Nieuwhof
Blog: How Do I Know If I'm in an Abusive Relationship?
Java with Juli: #466 Enough is Enough: Recognizing and Combating Abusive Relationships
Book: When Sorry Isn’t Enough by Gary Chapman and Jen Thomas
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey friend, welcome to Job with Julie, hosted by me, Julie Slattery. |
| 0:06.1 | This podcast is a listener-supported outreach of the ministry, Authentic Enniscy. |
| 0:12.1 | An article was published a few years ago by psychology today, confirming what many of us |
| 0:17.3 | kind of already suspected. Around half of all first marriages ended in divorce. |
| 0:23.3 | You might be surprised to know that second and third marriages fail at even a higher rate, |
| 0:27.9 | with 67% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages ending in divorce. |
| 0:34.6 | But what if there is another way? |
| 0:36.6 | What if it were possible to get married and stay |
| 0:39.5 | married negotiating the challenges that marriage might bring? Well, this is the heart of my |
| 0:45.8 | conversation with my guest today, Tony and Carrie Newhoff. A few years ago, Tony, who is a |
| 0:52.5 | divorce attorney, published a book called Before You Split. |
| 0:56.2 | She's really offering advice to couples whose marriages are on that brink of divorce. |
| 1:01.4 | As an expert of close witness to the challenges of divorce and someone who has navigated her own marital struggles, |
| 1:09.1 | Tony has authored a book full of honest and practical advice to |
| 1:12.3 | help couples decide if divorce really is the best or only option. If you're someone who's |
| 1:19.0 | thinking about divorce or walking through a divorce or even close to a person who's thinking |
| 1:23.6 | about it, I encourage you to listen to this episode and think through if there are any |
| 1:28.1 | other options for you before you decide to split. And this is a quick disclaimer. The advice |
| 1:33.8 | that Tony offers is for people who are in struggling marriages, not abusive ones. And Tony will |
| 1:39.6 | explain that in our conversation. All right, let's head to the coffee shop for my conversation with Tony and Carrie Newhoff. |
| 1:49.2 | Well, Tony and Carrie, thanks so much for joining me for this conversation on Job with Julie. |
| 1:54.2 | It's great to get to know you. |
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