This is Self-Work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At Self-Work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. The sociopath will flatter the people who follow him without question,

honor them in ways that mean something to them, shout to the world what smart, affected people

they are. It takes someone with an impeccable sense of integrity to say,

I was fooled, I went along and didn't make trouble, I may even have let this happen, but I'm

not going to let it happen anymore. Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work. How do you know

if someone is trying to play with your mind or play mind games with you?

Today on self-work, we're going to talk about just that. The term cognitive dissonance has been

around for quite a long time. What it's describing is when you do something or say something

that you believe to be wrong or unkind or unjust, but you do it or say it anyway.

So you're not following or abiding by the values that you say you have.

But cognitive distance can also be caused or created as well through manipulation of what's

termed gaslighting. When most often someone with narcissistic traits or even sociopathic ones, create a smokescreen of confounding lies,

even telling you one thing is true as well as its opposite, and expecting you to blindly follow,

not trusting your own gut or mind or heart to guide you or lead you away from the manipulation.

It can be paralyzing. You either must cut yourself off from

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