#4702 Byron Now, Pay Later
TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
TBTL
4.8 • 2.4K Ratings
🗓️ 9 April 2026
⏱️ 82 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Andrew brought home a puppy yesterday and has all the details about her first night with him and Genevieve. Plus, CBS has announced its programming lineup that will replace Stephen Colbert, and Luke is not impressed, to say the least.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm Brick. I was dead last week. |
| 0:04.0 | I'm Chani. I like the place between your head and your body. |
| 0:09.0 | I like your hair. |
| 0:11.0 | It looks like wet popcorn. |
| 0:14.0 | Thank you. |
| 0:16.0 | Would you like to see the smile that I use when I pose for photographs? |
| 0:19.0 | Yes, please. Do you want to see the face I make use when I pose for photographs? Yes, please. |
| 0:21.6 | Do you want to see the face I make when I see a snake made out of candy? |
| 0:25.6 | Yes. |
| 0:30.6 | That's good. |
| 0:31.6 | What's your favorite time of day? |
| 0:33.6 | Now. |
| 0:35.6 | What's your favorite time of day? |
| 0:38.1 | A minute ago. |
| 0:39.9 | TVTL. |
| 0:45.8 | Their religious practice of growing natural long hair was misunderstood as somehow being threatening. |
| 0:52.0 | You're cute, but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion. Don't bully me, all right? I can't take it. I was cyber-bullied within an inch of my life last night. If you need a kiss so bad, why don't you kiss a potato like the rest of us? Don't you know your directions? It's real easy. West, right, backwards, yonder. You didn't even see East. |
| 1:11.9 | That's because the Earth face East, dumbass. |
| 1:14.5 | Wait a minute. |
| 1:15.4 | I'm a reasonable guy, but I've just experienced some very unreasonable things. |
| 1:21.4 | All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Thursday edition of TBTL, |
| 1:26.6 | the show that just might be too beautiful to live. |
... |
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