#4693 Not So Grand Opening

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 27 March 2026

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Luke gets into it with the people sitting next to him at Opening Night, but Becca has his back, plus David From the Basement stops by to explain why Stephen Colbert is writing the next Lord of the Rings film.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Now Greg, you have some interesting career plans. Tell us about your career plans.
0:04.0	Yeah, I'd like to be either a stand-up comedian or a baseball manager.
0:09.0	A stand-up comedian or a baseball manager.
0:12.0	So you want to be a stand-up comedian. Tell me what kind of jokes do you do?
0:16.0	I tell knock-knock jokes.
0:18.0	You tell knock-knock jokes?
0:19.0	Yeah.
0:20.0	Would you guys like to hear a knock-knock joke by any chance?
0:21.6	Okay, Gregory.
0:23.6	Lay one on us, let's hear it.
0:25.6	Knock-knock.
0:26.6	Who's you there?
0:27.6	Humpty.
0:29.6	Humpty.
0:30.6	They call me Humpty.
0:33.6	With the non-thie, I really am kind of funky.
0:36.6	Greg, ladies and gentlemen.
0:38.7	TVTL.
0:43.9	Pretty much anything to do with cats and the internet works.
0:49.6	And you can twist it and turn it whichever way the press decides to do.
0:54.4	Fight.
0:55.1	That's the wrong number.
	...

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