I don't think it's overstating anything to say that I was the first female to bring notoriety to our field.

As Minnie the Moose, the Vernon Community College baseball team's mascot,

I once held the splits for the entire length of an extra inning baseball game

in spite of excruciating pain

and a severe severing of my adductor longest muscle

that eventually required four hours of surgery

and added two and a half inches to my left leg,

forcing me to retire.

I wrote a tail documenting that journey. A musing grace, a mascot's journey to God and success in real estate.

TBTL.

In the next hour, we will present information that's both shocking and enlightening.

This need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is off-putting.

I mean, I understand how people can love podcasts.

I just never, they've never fit into my day. I just have never gotten into the habit.

It isn't so much about what it is altogether.

It's more about the modulation and what it is once it starts.

It's a little bit of a groove.

Can you say an apple?

Apple?

Can you say banana? Okay, T you say banana? Apple. Okay, T-Bone. Time for some serious crunching. Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Louie, what is that? What is it? I'm like, I don't know. What is it? My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. I've had a few. A few what? These small beers. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is absolutely storming out there. Oh my God. Sideways rain.

Deck furniture blown about. Hot tub covers dangerously close to blowing off of the hot tub.

Man, it is nasty out there.

...