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Do You F*cking Mind?

467. Why Rejection Feels So Painful (Psychology of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria)

Do You F*cking Mind?

Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa - Neuroscientist and Mindset Coach

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 914 Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2026

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If rejection (or even perceived rejection) feels physically painful, overwhelming, or impossible to shake, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore the psychology behind Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) a widely recognized experience (though not a formal diagnosis) that’s especially common in people with ADHD, and anyone who struggles with intense emotional reactions to rejection, criticism, or disapproval.

This episode covers:

  • What RSD actually feels like and why it can feel physically painful

  • The difference between real rejection and perceived rejection

  • Common triggers (and why perception matters more than reality)

  • What’s happening in the brain during an RSD spiral

  • Signs you may be experiencing RSD

  • Why people-pleasing, avoidance, overachievement, and rumination don’t actually help

  • How RSD differs from “normal” emotional sensitivity

  • The link between RSD, ADHD, and emotional dysregulation

This episode isn’t about “toughening up” or stopping emotions from happening.

It’s about learning how to move through rejection without losing yourself to it and rebuilding a sense of control, safety, and self-trust.

If you’ve ever thought, “I know this is irrational, but it feels unbearable,” this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, beautiful booms, and welcome to the podcast episode of today. I'm actually just jumping in here before we

0:22.1

get started on the topic of today's episode to let you know, especially my Sydney Beans,

0:27.1

that I am doing a one-off Sydney live show in February. February 4th, it's going to be

0:33.8

unbelievable, it's going to be the best show yet. And I am apologising because I left

0:39.2

Sydney out of the Lost but Make It Look Intentional live show tour across Australia. It was unbelievable,

0:45.1

but unfortunately I was not able to add Sydney on that tour list. But now we are coming back to

0:50.2

Sydney with the Lost but Make It Look Intentional show, one last show of that tour and it is

0:55.6

going to be bigger and better than any other show I've ever done. So if you live in Sydney or really

1:00.9

anywhere in the world, because I have had people come from New Zealand and Seattle, by the way,

1:06.9

to my live shows from around the world. Love this so much. So if you live in Sydney or anywhere in the

1:11.4

world, then head to DYFMpod.com and click on the link for the live show tickets. And buy yourself

1:19.2

a live show ticket. It's going to be epic. We're going to have things going on before and

1:23.1

after there's VIP tickets as well that are available where we're doing a meet and greet. We're doing drinks after.

1:29.1

There's a whole, it's all happening.

1:31.1

So jump on the website, get yourself a live show ticket.

1:35.1

It's going to be on a Wednesday night.

1:37.4

So maybe go have dinner, have drinks in the city and then come and change your life at the live show because I will.

1:43.7

That's my aim to change your life.

1:45.9

Anyway, over and out, love you guys so much.

1:48.4

Let's get straight into the episode of today.

1:52.1

Hello, beautiful beans and welcome to the podcast episode of today.

1:56.8

Before I get into the episode of today, because it's going to be very much a put a finger down kind of episode if I have rejection sensitivity dysphoria.

...

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