You call that a knife?

This is a knife.

That's not a knife, that's a spoon.

All right, all right, you win.

I see you've played knifie-spoony before.

TBTL.

Please understand that nothing personal is intended here against anybody. I don't hate these artists. I'm not trying to say that God hates them. And I'm certainly not trying to get you to hate them. It's funny. It's not like a regular ha-ha sitcom. There's no laugh track. There's no audience. Very stylized. It's about a bunch of guys in Seattle. Targets, targets.

Don't bully me, all right?

I can't take it.

I was cyberbullied with an inch of my life last night.

Watch out for that first step.

It's in doozy.

Well, all right.

Hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. These are the best page and chicken nibblets I've ever had. My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your host. I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia on this February 16th. It's President's Day.

I'm the president of rap music, and I need to work with you right away.

A lot of podcasts would honor the presidents.

Actually, it might be honoring the presidents if we didn't do the show.

But that's not how we choose to honor the idea of the presidency.

I don't know.

We're here, even though it's a holiday.

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

And it's episode 4,664 in a collector series.

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