This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. It's a choice to let go of your battle with shame is serving no purpose

except to keep you stuck in the past. Feel remorse, make amends, live differently, cry it out.

My working definition of self-acceptance is this,

recognizing that neither your strengths nor your vulnerabilities completely define you, and vice versa.

Welcome to this week's edition of self-work. Shame may be one of the most, if not the most,

devastating feeling about yourself that you can

have. I was interviewed this week by a Swedish journalist who asked me some probing questions about

my own history with shame, as she read an article I wrote in psychology today on just that topic.

Here's the last paragraph of that article. The funny thing that shame does, it lies to you.

It tells you that you're so terrible, that you must be the worst, the worst. So when you meet

someone else that you like, trust, respect, and they tell you they understand and have lived

what you're living, gone through what you're going through, you figure out

shame has been lying to you all along. Today we're going to talk just about that, and I'm going to

let you know that I have suffered with shame and that I have believed that I was the worst of the

worst. And perhaps that can help you with whatever lies your shame is

...