Regular, regular, regular features, a regular regular, regular features.

A regular regular features are regular features a show.

Hello and welcome to episode number 459 of the Regular Features Podcast.

The podcast that is exactly the same every bloody week.

My name is Matt Lees and I am joined as ever by John Blythe.

Well, oh.

And Stephen Hoggety.

Howdy, howdy, howdy. Is it fucking Hoggetty? I've I said your name wrong again? Hoggity like doggedty. Hockety, doggetty. Jesus. Fucking Christ. I never remember it when I'm about to say it, but I always know when someone else has said it wrong. It's like, it's this and fucking like, I just, it's like I know I get it wrong and then I just can't fucking match it up. It's fine. Most people don't get it in the first 10 years. I mean, I've got no excuse now. It's been over fucking 10 years. It's just I know one's right and one's wrong, but I can never remember which one's right and which one's wrong. I do remember in the first year or so of knowing Steve, he was impressed that I got it right constantly. And then in the years between then and now, Hermesgutter, Borghumpty. I'm ashamed. Anyway, cut this bullshit out.

No, that's going in.

Yeah, baby. Fine.

I always leave it in.

And if I was impressed by the fact he's pronounced my name correctly, Log, I was flattering you because it's not a fucking difficult name to pronounce.

Yeah, but you were very young and very scared of everything at this point, Steve.

So stop acting like you were Bertie Big Shorts back when you were a 12-year-old writing for a magazine.

Right, so you intimidated a child.

I towered over you, Steve.

That I was happy that you gave me the basic courtesy of pronouncing my name, the Crick.

And I said, give me six years and you'll be fucking gay, Steve.

That's why.

Yeah.

I was busting out me pheromones on you, mate.

You were doing Instagram witch-witchery on me before it was cool.

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