You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's episode, I'm going to be

giving you five similarities between anxiously attached people and avoidantly

attached people. Now, obviously, there's a lot of talk around the ways in which people with

these attachment styles differ. And that's certainly true and valid. There are lots of differences

in how their insecurities show up. But today I wanted to offer you a

counterpoint or another way of looking at those behaviors and the ways that they can manifest

in relationships so that you can maybe have a different perspective on the ways in which

you are similar or where you might have similar fears, similar struggles and challenges when it comes

to relationships. And as always, I'm offering that to you in the hope that it can help you

to cultivate greater curiosity and compassion towards both yourself and your partner or other

people in your life who, you know,

in the absence of that viewpoint, you might be inclined to judge them or become frustrated

with them or critical of them because of the ways in which their behavioral patterns might

differ from yours and how that might be frustrating or hurtful to you. I think that as always,

you know, if you're familiar with my work, if you've been following me for some time, you'll know

that I always stress the importance of understanding that our systems are just trying to keep us

safe. And that's really, you know, the number one imperative of our systems when it comes to

relationships or really anything else is to keep us safe, to protect us from harm. And so when we

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