#41: Is It Possible to Go from Anxious to Avoidant after Heartbreak?

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2023

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I'm answering the community question of "I used to be anxiously attached, but after discovering my husband's infidelity, I find myself being avoidant with potential new partners. How do I find the healthy middle ground?" We talk about changing attachment styles, fear, betrayal and how we can start to create more safety more ourselves after we've been hurt. Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here Additional Resources Join Healing Anxious Attachment Joi...

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships
0:10.5	and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.
0:19.7	I'm your host, Relationship Coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here.
0:28.6	Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.
0:32.5	Today's episode is a Q&A episode, so I'm going to be answering one of your questions. I received so many.
0:39.6	This is going to be a new regular segment. So you may have heard me announce that we're moving to
0:45.2	two episodes a week. So yeah, each week on a Friday I'll be releasing a shorter episode. It'll be
0:50.9	around 10 minutes or less where I'm sort of giving a longer answer
0:55.2	that I'm usually able to via Instagram to one of the questions that I've received from my
1:00.1	community members. So that's what today's episode is. And the question that I'm going to be
1:04.7	answering today is, I used to be anxiously attached, but after being cheated on by my now ex-husband, I'm avoidant.
1:12.8	How do I find the middle ground between anxious and avoidant? I'm either one or the other.
1:18.9	So that's the question that I'm going to be answering today. Before I do that, I just want to share
1:22.7	the review of the week, which is, thank you so much. I'm going through a breakup and dealing with my anxious
1:28.1	attachment, rearing its head. I'm learning a lot from your podcast and also really appreciating your
1:32.1	gentle and non-shaming style, looking forward to taking your course. Thank you so much. If that was
1:36.9	your review, please send me an email, podcast at Stephanierig.com, and we will set you up with free access
1:43.8	to one of my masterclasses
1:45.3	as a way to say thank you for taking the time. Okay, so let's dive into this question of
1:50.5	I used to be anxious, but then I got really hurt by infidelity and now I noticed myself being
1:57.8	more avoidant and guarded and pushing people away, I always swing between
2:02.8	them. How can I find the healthy middle ground? And, you know, if you've done any work with me and one
	...

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