"How do I navigate the tendency to lose myself in a long-term relationship as anxiously attached person?"

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2023

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it. Upcoming Events Byron Bay Retreat - Apply now! 🏝️ Sydney Intensive - Buy tickets Additional Resources Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with...

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to On attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience
0:09.9	relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to
0:15.0	overcome insecurity and build healthy thriving relationships. I'm your
0:20.4	host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg and I'm really glad you're here.
0:28.0	Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.
0:31.6	Today's episode is another Q&A episode and I'm going to be answering
0:35.8	the question how to navigate the tendency to lose yourself in relationship, particularly a long-term relationship as an anxiously attached individual.
0:46.0	So if you are anxiously attached or you sort of lean that way and you're listening to this, you've probably experienced that tendency to lose yourself,
0:55.5	self-abandon or just kind of become subsumed into the relationship over the course of that can obviously be problematic in and of itself and it can also be really, really challenging if you then go on to break up.
1:15.0	And I know that so many people that I work with in that post-break-up phase who are more anxiously attached.
1:22.0	It's like a double whammy because not only have they lost the
1:28.0	relationship but they left themselves so far behind so long ago and that they're really left empty-handed and feeling very
1:36.5	rudderless and confused and alone and that can be a really challenging experience.
1:42.0	So for whoever asked this question by no means am I suggesting that that's going to be where your relationship ends up,
1:48.0	but I think that there are many good persuasive reasons for trying to counter that tendency to to lose one
1:58.1	self in relationship as an anxiously attached person. So I'm going to be sharing some
2:02.2	thoughts on that today before I do
2:04.4	just sharing the review of the week which is let me just say that Stephanie's
2:09.4	voice is very calming. A lot of people say that apparently my voice is calming.
2:13.0	It makes a podcast all the more great to listen to.
2:16.0	I came upon this podcast a few months ago and listened to past episodes that I needed at the time
2:21.0	and have been keeping up with the new episodes ever since.
	...

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