A bugle show to alert you to will be part of the Unmute Podcast Festival.

We're doing a show at 7pm on the 24th of October. Details are at, well, on the internet.

Chris, can you be more specific than that?

What, than the internet?

What, yeah, than the internet. It was a particular bit of the internet.

Yeah, you can go to UnmutePodcastFestival.com or one of our social media channels.

And, you know, or you could just use the internet to find out what 7pm is in your time.

Yeah, because that's 7pm GMT.

Also, while you're on the internet, you can buy all the new Bugle merch,

including the new Christmas jumper, which looks absolutely spectacular.

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello, Bugleers, and welcome to another issue of the audio newspaper that was sent by Almighty God himself

back in 2007 to chart the final decline of the human race and the planet, both of which were, of course.

Always seen very much as a first draft by the renowned deity and winner of the 33 AD

worst parent of the year award. I am Andy Zoltzman, although it's been a while, I'm not even sure

I believe myself when I say that anymore. And this is issue 4168 of the Bugle. Coincidentally,

would you believe the average number of excuses a hypothetical CGI White House press secretary?

Would we allow to exonerate a hypothetical CGI tycoon president who had just drowned 12 puppies

in a vat of whiskey while slapping a praying nun in the face with a Jesus-shaped prosthetic willy

before acknowledging that yes, he might have slightly misacted. I am in the shed.

In London, it's the 5th of October 2020 and joining me for the latest celebration of the glorious day

of our planet. From, well, just a little bit south of here,

...