Ah!

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world!

Hello, Bugleers, and welcome to another installment of Well.

This is going well, the weekly assessment of Planet Earth's slide down the rankings that is the Bugle podcast.

I am Andy Zaltzmann, fear my power for I am a pitiless destroyer of Well.

Sorry, I promised myself I would never use those words again.

After it failed, it's a chat-up line for the 837th consecutive first date.

It is Monday, the 28th of September 2020.

This is issue 4167 of the Bugle which by coincidence is the number of times the following things have happened in the past week since we last spoke to each other.

The average British person has watched the news and said what now.

Boris Johnson has muttered the words this is the worst fowstie impact ever.

Football pundits have said that is never a handball, this game is killing itself.

Football supporters have responded, you have a point, but maybe try dressing the cancerously exploitative destructive plutocracy of the wealthier clubs when you are trying to work out exactly how football is really killing itself.

So there we are, there we are, another week on as we all wait expectantly for season 4 of the Handmaid's Tale of some light, frothy escapism

whilst quietly thinking to ourselves, I expect at the end of civilization to be a bit more exciting and spectacular than this.

So, in standard here we have a bugle to keep you going, joining me for the latest week of joy around the world from Australia, Alice Fraser.

Hello Andy, hello bugleers, how are you all?

I assume they are all fine.

Let's go with fine.

On behalf of all bugle listeners, everyone is absolutely fine.

How can you not be fine when you are listening to world class setter?

No idea, I have never really tried it.

...