It's called dissing your dog.

How to Train your puppy with mockery and verbal humiliation.

You see, dogs are much more intuitive than we give them credit for.

They know when they're the butt of ridicule,

and when they misbehave a well-placed

sarcastic comment or cutting remark can work wonders where a rolled-up

newspaper fails. Whatever your puppy's behavior problem, I guarantee I can

help you fix it. Problems like jumping on furniture.

Oh no, no, no, no, Humphrey, don't get up.

Why don't you just stay there and relax?

After all, you did put in a long day of work at a demanding high stress job.

Oh no, wait a minute, that's me. Now I remember, I'm the one with the job.

You're the one who lies around the house all day in a pool of your own slobber.

Accidents in the house.

Hey Walter, thanks for your help with the new off white sofa.

Everybody agrees that dump you left there was the perfect accent.

So good job.

Oh, and by the way, Milton Burrell called,

he wants his bladder control back.

That's a good dog.

Fussy eating habits.

Oh right Margaret he wanted prime rib.

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