402 When Traditional Parenting Fails: Raising Strong-Willed Kids
I Have ADHD Podcast
Kristen Carder
4.8 • 3.1K Ratings
🗓️ 12 May 2026
⏱️ 59 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
Strong-willed kids don’t respond to “normal” parenting—and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. In this episode, I’m joined by Kirk Martin, founder of CelebrateCalm.com and host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, to talk about what actually works with intense, demand-avoidant, emotionally reactive kids.
Kirk shares the personal story behind his work, including his experience raising his son Casey, and explains why traditional discipline, consequences, and power struggles often backfire with these kids. We dive into PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), why labeling kids as “demand avoidant” can miss the deeper picture, and how strong-willed kids often seek intense emotional engagement—not because they’re manipulative, but because they’re dysregulated.
We also discuss:
- Why FAFO parenting doesn’t work for many neurodivergent kids
- How to avoid emotional collisions and stop taking behavior personally
- Why reducing demands isn’t always the answer
- The connection between accepting ourselves and accepting our children
This conversation is compassionate, practical, and full of paradigm-shifting insights for parents raising kids who feel “too much” for conventional parenting advice.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This episode is sponsored by Batch. I want to talk to you about something that doesn't get said enough. |
| 0:04.5 | Sometimes you just stop feeling like yourself, not in a dramatic way, just in a quiet, constant |
| 0:09.0 | feeling of being a little off. Your patience is thinner, your energy is lower, but you're still |
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| 0:36.0 | you out. It's to feel more like |
| 0:37.9 | yourself. They also offer options like their CBD nighttime gummies designed for deeper, more |
| 0:42.8 | restorative sleep, or their THC gummies, which are formulated for a little more balanced, |
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| 0:52.3 | supporting yourself so that you can stay present in it. |
| 0:55.1 | Right now, Batch is offering 30% off sitewide. And yes, that applies to subscriptions too. |
| 1:00.3 | Go to hellobatch.com slash I have ADHD and use code I have ADHD at checkout. |
| 1:19.5 | Welcome to the I Have ADHD podcast, where it's all about education, encouragement, and coaching for adults with ADHD. |
| 1:23.4 | I'm your host, Kristen Carter, and I have ADHD. |
| 1:28.9 | Let's chat about the frustrations, humor, and challenges of adulting, relationships, working, and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder. |
| 1:33.3 | I'll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to |
| 1:38.9 | point B. |
| 1:40.1 | Hey, what's up? |
| 1:41.0 | This is Kristen Carter, and you have tuned into the I have ADHD podcast. |
... |
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