400: Become a Conflict Master with Dr. Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler
Age Less / Live More
Lucas Rockwood
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 26 February 2020
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you have a talky coworker who never gives you space to share your ideas? Do you have a neighbor who does home repairs at 2 am? Or a spouse that never follows through with their shared housework?
Welcome to everyday conflict.
We argue easily about the things we care most about, and the small things seem too petty to be bothered with. Instead, we let them brew and fester until finally, we explode. Healthy conflict is the sign of a healthy relationship, but how can you foster positive conflict at home and at work? What does that even look like?
Listen & Learn:
- Whether to avoid conflict or race to conflict (which is better?)
- How to identify your values and aligned with them
- Exploring shadow values and inner conflict
- Strategies for communication and positive outcomes
Links & Resources:
About Our Guest:
Jennifer is a leading expert on conflict and organizational psychology, is founder and CEO of Alignment Strategies Group, and author of, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life.
Nutritional Tip of the Week:
- Monk Fruit
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- Or write to us: [email protected]
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Have you ever had a coworker who had totally different work styles than you? |
| 0:07.0 | Maybe you are someone who thrives under pressure and you like to work with tight deadlines, |
| 0:12.0 | you like to put things off to the last minute, |
| 0:13.5 | but maybe your coworker is a real planner and he or she likes to talk about Q4 and Q1 and they like to work months or even a full calendar year ahead and you know that you're driving them |
| 0:24.4 | crazy you know for sure that they're driving you crazy and yet you need to work |
| 0:28.2 | together you need to figure out a way to work together or not but both of you |
| 0:31.6 | are avoiding the conflict both of you are avoiding the conflict. |
| 0:33.0 | Both of you are avoiding the conversation. |
| 0:35.0 | Or maybe it's a conflict at home, maybe you're the one who does all the chores, |
| 0:38.0 | maybe you go to the grocery store, you take out the garbage, |
| 0:40.0 | and you're starting to feel quietly resentful, bitter, passive aggressive |
| 0:45.3 | and rather than just sitting down and talking about hey let's delegate household duties here |
| 0:49.6 | and you sit on it and wait for an explosion which will turn into a big fight and you'll be up |
| 0:53.3 | till 2 in the morning. |
| 0:55.1 | These kinds of conflicts show up in life all the time at home, at work, even in public, in line |
| 1:00.2 | for the airplane or in line at the DMV. |
| 1:02.6 | Conflict is a part of life, and I've always been terrible at it, |
| 1:06.6 | and I've been really fearful of it and tried to avoid it as much as I can. |
| 1:10.2 | And I've come to realize that we argue and have conflict about the things we care the most about. |
| 1:15.8 | This is why people argue about religion. |
| 1:17.6 | This is why they argue about politics, because it's so meaningful to them. |
| 1:21.2 | So if you're not arguing about things, if you're not having |
... |
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