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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

4.22.26, Church of Cobbler

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 22 April 2026

⏱️ 124 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Morning people get way more respect, and we should have more trade schools. Lazlo and SlimFast are going to open a new building; a hybrid of bars, batting cages, and cobblers. Highschoolers in Topeka took the weinermobile to prom. Some people just show their vagina and poop on the playground. Tipping is out of control. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:10.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:17.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.0

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.5

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

0:41.9

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.6

Yo!

0:48.7

How are you, man?

0:49.6

I'm great.

0:50.4

How are you?

0:50.7

What's wrong?

0:51.1

You sound down.

0:51.9

Like, you know, I'm okay.

0:53.8

It's sure what happens. Why, you've got a flat tire today so you know what do you what can you

0:59.9

oh no there's nothing you can do on your way to work we made it here safe no he was like uh i guess

1:05.8

pulling up to the house so he says which there is the map so i guess he probably can't lie about

1:10.3

that playing up to the house i see him pulling up to the house and So he says, which there is the map. So I guess he probably can't lie about that.

1:26.4

Pull him up to the house. I see him pulling up to the house and he turns away and disappears. I'm like, well, that's not good. So I called him and didn't answer. Called him again. And he did answer. And he said, I'll be right back. So I'm like, oh, okay. He just got lost, right? Maybe he was looking for me, didn't see me.

1:27.8

Took him a while.

1:27.8

And then when he finally showed up, he was in the wrong car and said, oh, okay, he just got lost, right? Maybe he was looking for me, didn't see me. Took him a while.

1:45.6

And then when he finally showed up, he was in the wrong car and said, sorry, I got a flat tire. I just switched cars on, you know, like, you know what, sir? I'm just glad that you're here. Sounds like you're the one having the stressful day. No, not really. I wish I had more. Well, that's true.

...

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