399. What Everyone Gets Wrong About Confidence
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 19 June 2025
⏱️ 15 minutes
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Summary
Confidence is often talked about in the online empowerment space, but most people misunderstand it. We think of confidence as a feeling—a temporary emotion we either have or don’t have. But here’s the truth: confidence is much more than a feeling. In fact, the feeling of confidence is the last part—and the least important part.
In this episode, I’m breaking down why treating confidence as just a feeling keeps us stuck, and what you really need to focus on to create lasting, transformative confidence in your life. Listen in as I explain how to create the foundation of confidence you’ve been missing.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/399
Mentioned in this episode:
Learn How to Stop Caring About What Other People Think on June 24!
Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in an encore of the free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Friday, June 24 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.) Click here to sign up: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/stop-caring
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I spend a lot of time in the online empowerment space, as you can imagine, and I see confidence |
| 0:05.3 | talked about all the time, and yet I don't see it described correctly, because everyone talks |
| 0:10.8 | about confidence as a feeling or state of being. It's in the way we use the word. We say, |
| 0:16.4 | I want to feel confident. I want to be confident. But thinking about it this way makes it a little mysterious to |
| 0:22.1 | us. If it's a feeling, how do we make more of it? You would expect, I would say, well, you change your |
| 0:28.1 | thoughts, right? That confidence is a feeling caused by our thoughts. And I think that's true. That's |
| 0:33.6 | what I've taught historically, and I do stand by that. But I also think there's a lot more to it, |
| 0:38.3 | and I have a new perspective on confidence that I want to share with you. It's much more than a |
| 0:43.0 | feeling, and in fact, in some ways, the feeling is the last part of it and the least important part. |
| 0:48.3 | So in this episode, I'm going to dive into what confidence is, if it isn't a feeling, |
| 0:52.4 | and what that means for how you can start increasing |
| 0:55.1 | your confidence. Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowenthal, master |
| 1:01.9 | certified coach and founder of the School of New Feminist Thub. I'm here to help you turn down |
| 1:07.9 | your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, |
| 1:12.6 | one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go. |
| 1:18.7 | All right, my friends, so today we're diving into an advanced understanding of confidence, |
| 1:23.4 | what it is, why it matters, and what creates it. |
| 1:26.8 | So let's do a throwback to how I used to start many of my episodes |
| 1:29.8 | when I was kind of building the vocabulary we use |
| 1:32.9 | when we make and listen to this show. |
| 1:35.4 | How does the dictionary define it? |
| 1:37.6 | The dictionary defines confidence as, |
... |
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