398. How to Solve Insecurity
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 12 June 2025
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Does it constantly feel like you’re measuring yourself against some impossible standard? Whether it's your career, your relationships, or your body, that feeling of inadequacy can keep you stuck, unable to move forward.
In today’s episode, I’m breaking down why insecurity isn’t the real issue—it’s the lack of emotional security within yourself. When we’re constantly comparing ourselves to external expectations, we feel unsafe, unworthy, and disconnected from who we really are. Tune in to learn how to shift your mindset, build emotional safety, and start living in alignment with your own values.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/398
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The other day, I was being interviewed by a young woman in high school for a project she was doing, and she asked me, what is the one word that best describes you when you were in high school? |
| 0:10.1 | I did not have to think hard to answer this question because the word insecure immediately popped into my brain. |
| 0:16.6 | And it really was not just high school. I would say that was the defining word of my life for many |
| 0:21.2 | years, well into my 30s, until I learned how to change my thinking. So today, I really want to |
| 0:26.8 | dive into what insecurity actually is, because back then, I didn't really know what it meant |
| 0:31.4 | in the sense that I used it to describe a lot of different feelings, but without really having a |
| 0:36.9 | clear idea of what I |
| 0:38.4 | was describing. I just thought it meant feeling bad about myself. But it actually means so much |
| 0:44.0 | more than that, and we have to understand what it really is to be able to understand how to change it. |
| 0:49.0 | So that's what we're going to get into today. Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowenthal, master certified coach, |
| 0:57.4 | and founder of the School of New Feminist Thub. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, |
| 1:03.5 | turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. |
| 1:09.9 | Let's go. All right, so we've all used these words or this |
| 1:17.0 | phrase probably. I just feel insecure. Sometimes we're just saying, I just feel insecure, full |
| 1:23.0 | stop. And if we say it generally, without talking about something specific, it's usually a stand-in for, |
| 1:29.5 | I don't feel good about myself generally. It can mean I feel self-conscious. It can mean I have |
| 1:35.2 | negative thoughts about myself. It can mean I generally don't feel good enough, even though I don't |
| 1:40.5 | entirely know what that even means. Or sometimes we're saying we feel insecure about |
| 1:45.2 | something in particular. I just feel insecure about my stomach. I just feel insecure about still |
| 1:50.2 | being single. I just feel insecure about my career. In that case, what we're really describing is having |
| 1:55.8 | a set of negative thoughts about ourselves in a given area of our lives. So being insecure, we mean we feel behind, |
| 2:03.7 | we feel flawed, we feel lacking, we feel not good enough. But where does insecurity even come |
... |
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