meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Keith and The Girl

3952: A Penny Earned w/ Calvin Cato

Keith and The Girl

Keith Malley

Chemda, Funny, Girl, Selfhelp, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Comedy, Katg, Mentalhealth, Keith

4.71.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’re in NYC (the second greatest city on Earth) check out his debut stand-up special in person! Say hi! Meanwhile, catch up the C.C. right now as Cato and Keith discuss the government's reopening, Calvin’s butt closing, and Keith wondering if he’s being respected at home. The duo talks about therapy, dating debacles, and deliberately smelling your own socks after a fruitful day. Cheers.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, all you are you all welcome and listen to you a lot of six and Keith and weather.

0:04.6

Welcome to Keith and the girl. I'm Keith Malley. And I'm Calvin Cato.

0:08.2

Calvin Cato. I'm back. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. Calvin Cato, a human party. I talked to Calvin before, one of the last people when I left New York City to move to Charlotte, it's been like five months already.

0:23.5

I can't believe it's been that long.

0:25.5

How are you enjoying down south?

0:26.8

I love it.

0:28.7

I love it.

0:29.8

I talked about getting a restaurant management job.

0:32.6

I'm doing some bartending and waiting, of course, and everybody's so nice.

0:39.3

There is a big difference between New York attitude and Charlotte. That might sound dumb to people, but to me it was news, and I love

0:45.8

it here. And wherever my girlfriend happened to live, I'm sure I would have moved close to there,

0:50.1

but I've been visiting Charlotte before I moved here. I love the food and the people,

0:55.0

and now I'm enjoying it very much. It suits me. Lovely. What cities would have been a deal breaker?

1:01.4

Like what if she was living in like Little Rock or Arkansas or something?

1:05.5

No offense to Little Rockians who listen to this, but you know. I don't know that another place, I don't know. I don't know if a place would have turned me off, but then if it was a dumb place, she'd be a totally different person. So, you know what I mean? So I didn't have to worry about that. Thank goodness. Fair enough. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I feel like if she lived

1:28.2

at Mar-a-Lago, that would be a massive difference. Right, right. Yeah, no, this is a happening place, but it's not fucking goddamn insane. Last time I talked, by the way, Keithmanagrel.com slash Calvin Cato. You can see all the times Calvin's been on over the years. Everybody, of course, loves them. Who's better than Calvin? Well, the audience wrote in. I'm going to go over a list

1:46.5

here and you tell me if loves them. Who's better than Calvin?

1:44.6

Well, the audience wrote in, I'm going to go over a list here, and you tell me if you agree,

1:47.7

who's better than you? Of course not. But we talked about the going away party in New York City when

1:54.7

I was with you, party etiquette, and the shocking news about Diddy, this sick freak puts

2:00.6

applesauce on his cheeseburgers.

2:03.2

Nobody knew how disgusting he could be.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Keith Malley, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Keith Malley and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.