Welcome to Beach, to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Beach, Shandy Water Show at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm your sister host, Christine.

I am the brother host. My name is Zandi. We're bringing some wild stuff to you today. We always tell patrons what the theme is, but not today. Because today... They all guessed anyway.

They all figured it out because they're so smart.

They take after us, don't they?

That's so true.

It's rubbing off.

I know.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

We're doing Smut versus Shakespeare today.

Yes, meaning we will read each other a review of smut or a review of work by Shakespeare, and the other has to guess which one it is. If this sounds familiar and you're already like rolling your eyes, it's probably because it is familiar because we like to do shit like this. We do this with Twilight. We do it in our guest episodes now with our guests. Games. Andy loves a game. I love a game. He's good at it. I'm not. What happens when we do these like kind of gamified things is that Alexander actually does the game and then I show up and I realize I've kind of not. I've brought stuff, but it's more like I found all this stuff in the pantry, not like, oh, I actually did something very curated. I don't feel like mine's curated, but not in a bad way. That's good. It's hard to do that when it's smut versus Shakespeare. It's really hard. Like, I was trying to find ones, and I was like, I either have to read three words from this, which makes it not fun. A lot of mine are kind of short that, like, could work for either, but I don't know. I did read a review of Midsummer Night's Dream that just said no likey. And I feel like no likey could really be a hard one to figure out. It feels like a crapshoot, which some of these are. Not my cup of tea. Smut could be also. Anyway, sorry. So do you want to go first? Yeah, I have one to start with. This is a one-star review. Did they really

fuck in the dead daughter's bed? So do you want to go first? Yeah, I have one to start with. Great. This is a one-star review.

Did they really fuck in the dead daughter's bed? Skull emoji. End of review. Oh, God. Now, what if I were to say both? Because I feel like... A smuddy Shakespeare... Hey, I will say. I feel like some of Shakespeare's works. I guess what I'm trying to say is yes, all of the above, not in one.

I mean more like what if it were, like it feels like something that would happen in a modern day smut and an old time. Yeah, like a trope that the trope that expands past timelines.

That's why I brought it.

I was like, hmm.

I'm going to guess Shakespeare.

It is smut. No, I thought for sure. I thought for sure, because it's so vaguely historical sounding.

Fortunately, no, right? It feels like something that might have happened because it did. I'm sure

of it. I mean, in Shakespeare specifically, but like, I'm sure it happened in life too. I didn't want to think of it like that, but... But are you sure? Because how could you really be sure? This is how we'd have arguments as children. How could I be sure? Not in a good way, that's for sure. No good way could I be sure about that happening? I know for sure because Ms. Corona made me read a book about the history of the Catholic Church.

I mean, okay, there you go.

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