Regular, regular, regular features, a regular regular, regular features.

A regular regular features are show.

Hello and welcome to the regular features podcast.

The podcast that is exactly the same every single week.

And as every week, I am joined by...

Oh, hello, I'm Log, but don't mind me.

There's someone else here too, and I want you to pay attention to him. Who are you? Hi, yeah. My name's Gav. How are you? Lovely to meet you, Gav. Very nice. Why have you turned into, like, this is like a 90s chat sex room, like on teletext? I'm not against it. Don't get me wrong. I'm a soggy mush for you, Gav, and I never won't be.

Log, what is your feature? I'll be playing embarrassing Zoom bingo.

Gav. I will be bringing you the thrilling conclusion to my Instagram scam feature from last week.

And I will be informing you about the dangers of 5G telecommunications masts,

which are already wreaking havoc inside of your balls and anus and ovaries,

wombs and tits sozz.

Ooh, squirty, squirty, squirty, burty.

Ooh, squirty, squirty, you dirty birdie.

Have you guys bought anything stupid whilst being under lockdown? Shit, loads of hule. Loads of hul. Because I'm not spending any money on going out boozing or going to restaurants, which is the only thing I spend my money on is booze and food, really. Like, I found myself with, like, quite a few pennies left over, so I've been like, what shall I buy? What do I need? So I've been buying loads of skincare product, but I just bought, I've just bought, like, a razor thing. I'm sure you guys are getting there as well, but I've just bought a razor just for shaving

my balls. Is it the Phillips One Blade? No, it absolutely is not. I wouldn't put anything called

one blade on my balls. It's a company called Balls and like all the advertising around

it. I'm not massively into it.

Is it like a bowling ball polisher where you just rest your balls in there for 10 seconds

and they come out completely bold?

That would be so good.

I fucking wish.

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