You're listening to Breakup Boost, honest and logical advice with the sprinkle of bluntness.

Trina keeps it real. She'll help you navigate the craziness of the modern dating world.

Stop obsessing over your ex and finally close the door on half-ass relationships.

This girl's got your back. Here's Trina.

Hey guys, let's just get right into it, shall we?

Okay, so today I want to talk about the one thing that you actually want when you say you want closure.

Do you have any idea what that one thing is?

It also starts with the letter C. No guesses? Okay, well,

the one thing that you actually want when you say you want closure is control. You want control.

Because when you're in a position where you're asking for closure, what you're really

asking is for relief from the powerlessness. You want relief from the breakup anxiety.

You want the upper hand. Okay? Let's just wrap it up in a nice little boat. You want the upper hand. When you're the upper hand okay let's just wrap it up in a nice little boat you want the upper hand

when you're the one asking for closure you do not feel like you have the upper hand because if you did

you wouldn't be asking for it it'd be like going off into your you know new chapter your new life

blah blah blah so let's break it down a little bit, okay? So you want

control over the version of the breakup that lives in their head. You want control over how they

see you, how they'll remember you. You want control over the narrative that they'll tell other people. You want control over

whether they'll regret losing you. You so badly want them to regret everything, right? You

want control over who moves on better or faster. You want control because not having it makes you feel disposable.

You want control because their silence feels like humiliation.

And you want control because they aren't fighting to be with you.

Losing someone is one thing, okay?

...