Welcome to Beach, to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello and welcome to Beach Two, Sandy Water, too,ette. This is a podcast where we read the most reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandi. I am the brother host here. I'm the sister host. My name is Christine. I'm back in the habit. Stop saying that. She keeps saying that. What habit? This beautiful long black one I'm wearing. I don't see it. Oh, okay. I've repressed it from our Catholic upbringing. All those dead nuns we walk on. We did have to walk over a lot of them. I feel like we said that every week. We say that a lot, but it's true. Yeah. Well, this is one of those episodes because it's between you and us, which means we read reviews sent in by our listeners. We're excited about it because we kind of do them like sporadically nowadays, but it is fun to like go dig in for some really random stuff. Yeah, yeah. You all send some good stuff that we would never find because we don't care about your towns. Hey. I'm just kidding. We care once we. You know what? You know what I'm saying. A nightclub in Milano... I said Milano, MI. And I was like, Milano, Michigan. Milano, MI, comma, Italy. So it is Milan. Okay. I mean, I guess... You know what I mean? No. Before we get into this, I did want to announce a couple things. Number one, we are posting our themes on Patreon, our upcoming themes.

So if you want to be a part of that action to send us reviews, we have a form set up,

but you've got to be a Patreon member for that, Patreon.com slash Beach, Susandy.

And not only that, we will be announcing an upcoming guest episode because it's one of our themes on that. So just not for people to contribute to, but just to let patrons know, hey, this is coming up to get people a little excited. Just a little fun new perk that we're like, hey, why don't we let these people know? Because it's hard to keep these things secret. We got to tell someone. Exactly. And know what in our actual lives care. Precise. And we told them. We didn't get the validation we were seeking. So we look elsewhere,

especially to our patrons, especially the folks who pay us money. And I think you can all understand that.

Of course, of course. And on top of that, we also offer ad-free video episodes and audio episodes on

Patreon. Wow, that's so nice of us.free video episodes and audio episodes on Patreon.

Wow, that's so nice of us. Every patron of the arts, aka us.

But now we're going to read ridiculous shit for you. So this one was sent in by CS, He Him.

And this is of a kitchen scale on Amazon.

CS found a couple reviews by this person, aka Tom Bombadil's Left Nut. Who's Tom? Oh, who's Tom? Or Tom Bombadil? It's a Hobbit, reference, I think. Someone's going to be. You're like, Tom Bombadil, not familiar. Left nut, now that I'm familiar with. So who's this Tom, fella? Tom who? Oh, I'm sorry.

Tom Bombadil is from the adventures of Tom Bombadil by J.R.R. Token.

So I don't know why I thought. It's at least in the universe of.

All right.

Do you know how many people, like, their heart rate spiked when you started saying, like,

it's from the Hobbit or whatever you said earlier?

Too many fucking nerds. I do the same thing about other things. That's why I don't listen to podcasts. I can't handle it. I can't handle idiots like myself. I recently learned the axiom. I don't know what that word means, so I don't think I did. I'm not convinced.

Clearly, that word took enough out of me.

I don't even know how to finish the sentence.

Alexander recently learned the axiom.

...