374: Measuring the Big Arch

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.9 • 7.5K Ratings

🗓️ 18 March 2026

⏱️ 74 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The episode opens with a hilarious story about measuring penis size that quickly turns into a spiral of ego, overthinking, and questionable decisions. The conversation shifts into life when your partner’s away, leaning into “divorced dad” habits and surprisingly thoughtful relationship talk about gifts and love languages. Things get chaotic again with random philosophy, lifestyle observations, and one of the funniest segments—Secret Sock, where they try to name everyday objects and completely fail. The back half dives into weird facts, a wild imp Thanks to Quince, Bluechew, Mack Weldon, AcreGold, and Lumi Gummies for sponsoring the podcast: Quince quince.com/stiffsocks Free shipping + 365-day returns BlueChew bluechew.com 10% off BlueChew Gold with code SOCKS Mack Weldon mackweldon.com Get 20% off orders $125+ with code SOCKS Acre Gold getacregold.com Subscribe for gold + giveaways (gold bars, exclusive drops) Lumi Gummies / Lumi Labs lumigummies.com Get 30% off with code SOCKS

Transcript

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0:00.0	Your girl shower quick.
0:02.2	Pretty quick.
0:03.0	Sometimes they're in there for like 10 seconds and a lot.
0:04.8	What the hell?
0:05.8	Yeah.
0:06.4	But we know what they're doing.
0:08.7	Wash them lips.
0:14.4	Welcome back to Stiff Sox, hosted by the two best comedians in the Western Hemisphere.
0:23.4	I am Michael Blaustein and this to my right is the...
0:28.3	I don't know.
0:29.1	What is this for?
0:29.9	Is this Patreon or regular?
0:32.2	Regular?
0:33.1	I measured my dick last night.
0:36.3	The fact that we have talked for over an hour and you didn't mention that.
0:43.1	This is main feed activities.
0:45.8	Buddy, this is main character activities.
0:47.7	Go ahead.
0:48.7	I measure my dick last night.
0:50.3	Well, I mean, you got to give me more than that.
0:51.7	What led to you measuring?
0:52.5	I wish I had more than that.
	...

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