37. The Boys Open

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 9 October 2018

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Two boys in the courthouse. Two boys with the clerk. Two boys in the swimming pool. Two boys out to work. Gosh, all those boys! Of course, sometimes one slides under the tractor, turns to boyslaw. Can’t help that! Oh, how the boys leave us, in their great numbers, to writhe their puny sinnin’ souls in Boyrgatory. This treat from our first season will grin sweetly in your ears as we wrench ourselves gruesome on the needy gears of our Live Show, which we birth this Thursday. Goo goo, slick slick. Invocation Sacrament: The Blessing of the Boys Liturgical Reading: “The Boys Open” Concluding Prayer That gooey live show truth is arriving oh so damn shortly. Videology Bar in Brooklyn, October 11th. Tickets here: https://thestorymustbetoldlive.eventbrite.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	Bring all the boys to the front, everyone up.
0:07.0	Bring all the boys to the front, everyone.
0:22.6	Bring them on up.
0:24.6	This is a special service today, and it's just for boys.
0:28.6	So come on up.
0:29.6	I see boys with different colors of hair, of skin, whose parents were Catholic, Jews,
0:35.6	Muslims, and atheists.
0:38.4	But now, they're all storytellers true.
0:42.4	The story unites us.
0:43.8	The story is the event we all witness.
0:48.3	And the story must be told.
0:50.9	This story must be told.
0:59.5	Now, this is the one time of year where I bless all the boys. We don't smudge oil, nor do we sprinkle water. We like to harden our youth to make them soldiers for the
1:07.4	story. So line on up, boys. One line. I'm not doing two. Okay, come up here, Brandon.
1:13.6	Liturgical director, Carl, go ahead and play the hymn, and I'll begin the blessings.
1:20.6	May you live the story, you piece of shit. May you live the story, little fucking asshole turd shit boy.
1:33.3	Live the story, mommy's little ass licker.
1:39.3	Yeah, fuck you too. Get out of here and live that story shit stink.
1:46.0	Oh, Colin Myers, how are you doing?
1:50.0	Live the story, I'm gonna spit in your fucking eye.
1:53.0	Live the story, my little tugger.
1:59.0	All right, well that's all the boys.
	...

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