Have you ever told yourself that you didn't care what someone else thought?

Until you found out what they thought and then you absolutely did care a lot.

You felt fine and brave and confident until you heard them express their negative opinion and then suddenly you were sure they were right.

If so, you are not alone.

But it's Independence Day y'all and so today I want to talk about one of the true forms of independence, which is not the birth of the nation

state, it is the birth of a version of you who doesn't give a fuck what other people think.

That's who we're going to meet. Let's go.

Welcome to UnFuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Loyenthile, master certified

coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thumb.

I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence,

and create a life on your own terms,

one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go.

So so many women struggle with caring way too much about what other people think of us.

And this has been on my mind a lot of course as I'm heading into my

wedding which is happening the day after this episode releases because everyone has a million

opinions about weddings and marriages and it's such a microcosm of what women are taught.

First, as we talk about often here, humans evolved in small tribes of hunter-gatherers and those tribal relationships were essential to survival.

You could not make it in nature alone.

So we evolved to be sensitive to the opinions of others around us and to care about whether we're being accepted by our tribe.

But this pattern is ten-exed by the way that women are socialized specifically.

We are taught that certain things are naturally important to us, or we are naturally good at them, like relationships, childbearing, mothering, domesticity in general, and that we need to do these things and be good at them in order to be good enough

to be accepted by the tribe.

...