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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

346-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.723.4K Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2016

⏱️ 101 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

PATREON, I told you to put that down! Also, sign up for Patreon, ya'll! You'll get extra bonus content, inside denim access, personal shout outs and more! WOW! say it again! WOW! Open your mouth so the whole dog can fit in the bathtub! Today we discover which gender we are (it's really changing at every moment). Plus Bert Is Fat and Why Is Bert So Fat really took off! We have all the fat comments. Dental Updates, dating inflatable animals, Joey Diaz being a SAVAGE and more! NO LOOSE DENIM ALLOW

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Attention, all jeans. Attention, all jeans. This is a special announcement. At the very

0:16.6

end of this episode, after the closing song, please continue to listen for a very special

0:22.8

update. Thank you all, jeans up.

0:29.8

Oh, you're taking your dad glasses off. You just took a dad dump. How was cleanup?

0:41.2

It was great. Why are you not sharing this dump? I feel like you're being very tight

0:48.0

to lift about it. I'm not. It's normal. What do you mean? It's not normal. I went out to take

0:53.2

care of business. I'm fine. I ran the bidet for a while and everything was fine. Was it a

1:00.2

clean wipe? Put your performance on the paper? A little bit. Is it much? No. It's very nice.

1:07.9

Looks like a three. Yeah. That's kind of lumpy, right? No. It's good. Just dry. Little dry,

1:17.5

right? I mean, it's in the ideal window. A little drier than it, you know, could be, but

1:25.5

it's not bad. What I fit into now, I'm fat in it, but I fit into it. It's great. I saw

1:31.5

some wearing this in La Jolla, and that was very jarring to see. My husband's face on

1:36.3

someone's jeans. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. I'm not sure. I should wear it. Check it out.

1:44.3

You know what I'm saying? You don't talk about. Do you feel me? You know what I mean? Looks

1:53.1

like I'll be in your eye, herm, herm, herm, vine, California. Your eye. At the improv, June

2:01.4

9, 10, and 11, I think that you sent me, this is why I need to fucking, here it is. Too

2:16.1

many things open. So that's coming up June 9, 10, 11, then the week after I have gas

2:25.2

fill, Tennessee, Xanies, June 16, 17, and 18, which is also your smurfing, then West

2:39.2

Nutsack, New York, June 23rd through 25th, into July. I have shits on that, Natti, shits

2:50.8

on that D, Ohio, that was submitted. Not the best flow on that one. I'm going to be

2:58.5

honest with you. I'm going to agree with you. Shit on the Natti. No, I'm not. Spit on her

3:04.8

nasty. There you go. Good work. Spit on her nasty Ohio. Wow. I'm doing the brand new

...

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