#346 Happiness - "If Only…Then" Three Words That Destroy Our Happiness
Happiness Podcast
Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D.
4.5 • 955 Ratings
🗓️ 1 October 2021
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When we use the words "If only...then" in our lives, we are putting off our happiness for another time. What if instead, we find our peace and happiness in the here and now. The future may be very different than we hoped for, but the present moment is where we will find our happiness.
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About the Happiness Podcast:
Do you ever wonder what it takes to lead a peaceful, happy life? Are you curious about the specific steps involved in a self-actualized, limitless life? Are you struggling with anxiety or depression? Or are you just plain tired and want some help? We explore all these concerns and more every week on the Happiness Podcast, which has been downloaded over 12 million times since its inception. Happiness does not happen by chance, but because we take specific actions in our lives to create it.
Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D., author of 13 books, TV show host, Psychology Today blogger, and corporate trainer, has been studying the actions it takes to reach the highest levels of human achievement for decades, and he wants to share what he knows with you. Come and explore, along with millions of others from the Happiness Podcast, Dr. Puff books and Psychology Today blog, private clients and corporate workshop attendees, the specific steps to take so that you can soar in your life.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the happiness podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff. Do you know what the three most |
| 0:09.6 | powerful words are that can destroy our happiness right here and now? They are, if only then, why are these |
| 0:18.6 | three words so destructive for our happiness. |
| 0:23.0 | Because the second we say these words, we're putting our happiness off. |
| 0:27.6 | It isn't here right now. |
| 0:29.7 | It's in the future when something will happen. One of my big if onlys that I used to struggle with in the past was if only I could get my PhD then everything will be great. And you know what happened when I got my |
| 0:45.2 | PhD? Nothing. But thankfully along the way I had learned this lesson far |
| 0:51.8 | before I got my PhD and I started living and stopped waiting until |
| 0:56.8 | someday I got my PhD because I knew it wouldn't make any difference. |
| 1:02.1 | I remember once when I was still an undergraduate studying |
| 1:06.2 | psychology, my professor of psychology who had his PhD, well he and I were sitting in his office |
| 1:11.9 | and having a conversation. and I remember telling him how busy I was trying to keep my grades up so I could get into a PhD program when I graduated and I was involved in a couple clubs. |
| 1:23.0 | I was president of one club, vice president of another. |
| 1:26.0 | I worked out every day to reduce my stress. |
| 1:29.0 | And I even audited classes here and there because I wanted to learn things, |
| 1:32.0 | but I couldn't fit them in my schedule. |
| 1:34.4 | So my schedule was really full. |
| 1:36.9 | But I realized at that point it was one of those major moments in your life when you think |
| 1:42.0 | someday may not be better than today because I knew my |
| 1:46.2 | professor was wrong he couldn't be busier than I was but his life was still full |
| 1:51.7 | and packed with activities. |
| 1:54.0 | And I'm sure in his mind he was waiting until the day his children grew up |
... |
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